It all started when we were in the process of buying our house when we were living in the Dallas area. The previous owner had long since moved out, but the tenant had left a house full of unwanted furniture and personal items.
There was a plastic playscape in the front yard to one side of the house and clearly on the property of the house we were buying. I asked the realtor if that was coming with the house. After some inquiry, he reported that it belonged to the next-door neighbor. Jason did not think it was a big deal. I, on the other hand, began to worry and put together all kinds of horrible neighbor scenarios in my mind. What kind of people would just leave their stuff on the property? I decided that if we didn’t get something done about it before we moved in, we would forever have the neighbor’s playscape in our yard, and who knows what else? So I kept nagging Jason about it. “Don’t worry about it,” he would say, “Just leave that up to me.” But I did not. I called my family and told them all the possible problems we could have with the neighbors, and agreeing with me, they urged Jason to do something about it. I called his family. Same story. Finally, Jason, tired of hearing about it and wanting me to be happy, made the call to the realtor, stating that by law anything left on the property would be ours. So the realtor talked to the owner, who promised us that it would be moved. I was so happy. All would be well!
One week before we moved in, the neighbors sold their house and moved out of town. The instant I heard the news, I felt sick. All my rationalizations for nagging and manipulating to get my way went out the window. Jason had been right all along. I should have trusted him. I should have agreed to let him handle it as he wanted to even if he had been wrong. Even if I couldn’t trust my husband, I can always trust God. I should have been seeking to honor Him first instead of being determined that I would save the day. Now, when I am tempted to insist that things go my way, I try to remember that playscape.
Two years later the people who had owned the house next door bought it again and moved back. They are the nicest neighbors! The people who live in the neighborhood are very close and spend a lot of time together. That’s why the playscape was where it was–because they were all such good friends! Woe is me
Thankfully, sometimes in marriage I do the right thing. I’m sure you can relate one way or the other! 😉
It’s not easy to simply trust. As wives we think we have to make sure everything is in order and it is hard to see that our husbands may be more on target than we are in some things. (Yes, I said “some things”, 🙂 because we are the nurturers and want to make sure all is well and safe for our family, while our husbands may not see the urgency.) As partners we often do not communicate with each other as much as we should. Each is seeing the situation but from different perspectives.
Trusting God is much the same way. We are VERY limited in what we can see in situations, whereas God sees the whole picture. Waiting for His way is the best thing. Trust is necessary, isn’t it? 🙂
Good thoughts, Esther.
I would have rationalized right there with you. Jason must be a very patient husband.
I can see myself doing the same thing! That’s awesome you have such a great neighborhood…and learned a good lesson…it’s all good though now 🙂 Saw you on Mckmama’s blog frog…wanted to say hi and follow you now! You are always welcome over to my blog OR feel free to stop on over to my blog frog community…we’re a small group but VERY friendly 😉 Blessings! ~Kimberly
Tonia Sanders says
I can’t say I would have done anything differently. Perhaps just feel the same as you do now, after the fact.
But hey, hindsight is 20/20…who knew.
Glad you have gotten a chance to get to know how great the neighbors are!
Gina Lind says
Now following you through Blog Frog!
Great Blog! Stopping by from MBC. Following you now.
Cathy Kenendy says
Lovely story and lesson well learned. It’s difficult sometimes to pull back and allow our husbands to do what’s best simply because we can’t see the big picture. I’m guilty for questioning my husband’s motive of handling things – not because he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but because I can’t connect in my mind what he intends. Now, it’s easy to see where the “nagging wife” icon has spun from, eh? I try now to be discerning on how best to tackle questioning, but I occasionally fall into old habits.
Kim Stuff could be worse says
Such a great post, how many of us do nag! Yes trusting husband, is true!
Esther, We all do stupid stuff. There was a time when we all have not listened to our hubby. I’m glad the people moved back. Evidently they moved away when the Lord didn’t want them to.
We all learn the hard way sometimes. I’m glad things turned out well and you have a close knit neighborhood.
Many blessings to you.
In Christ’s Love
Sis in Christ
shari lynne says
Always lessons to be learned! Yikes :)I’m so glad that God gives such Grace!
christa sterken says
Great point! I am the queen of realizing too late I should have trusted my husband. I shared recently with a group of woman who were bashing submissiveness, that I was running for it. It is not being a doormat, it means I am trusting my husband to make good decisions. To take care of me when I need it. And the pressure to be all/do all is fading a little more each year
scott perkins says
Jumped over here from a blog hop. Loved the simplicity of your story, but the raging battle it illustrates. Good lesson learned. Thanks for sharing. http://choosetotrust.com/2013/05/encouraging-masculinity-in-marriage/
Sheila at Longings End says
All my rationalizations for nagging and manipulating to get my way went out the window. Jason had been right all along. I should have trusted him. I should have agreed to let him handle it as he wanted to even if he had been wrong. Even if I couldn’t trust my husband, I can always trust God.
I CAN SOOOOO RELATE. Thanks for sharing your story and helping us wives remember that we can and MUST trust and follow our husband’s lead!
Mai Bateson says
Sometimes it’s easy for us to judge people (and yes we make a mistake for doing so) and then also comes nagging and manipulating our hubs. What is important is obeying God and He commands us to love, serve, and please our husband without any conditions. I can relate to this, I’m still a work in progress though in this area 😉 Set your eyes on
the Lord and receive everything He has already given you. 🙂
Visiting you from the Happy Wives Club Link Up.
Fawn Weaver says
Such a great lesson, Esther. One we all have to be reminded of often when we think we “know” what’s best. And as women, isn’t that more often than it should be? 🙂
The Provision Room says
Such a great post! “Remember the Playscape!” I’ll have to make that a mantra. 😉
I’ve been seeing God do this more and more in my life and it’s also being confirmed as I’ve been reading through 1 and 2nd Samuel. God reminds me that He is always in control, no matter what choices my husband seems to be making. When I trust my husband, I am trusting God more and God blesses that. What a great and funny story, Esther. Thanks so much for being vulnerable enough to share your mistake with all of us, so we can be encouraged to make the right choices too!
At least it was something that stood out in your mind as a mistake, I am so bad at being a good wife the good times stand out more than the bad (not that we have an unhappy marriage, just that I am bad at submitting when I should).
Well, I would have agreed with you. Somebody’s kids could have been hurt and the parents sued you . . . . that’s the way my thoughts run wild. Even if it hadn’t turned out as well as it did, it probably never would have been as bad as you and I could imagine. The Lord would have taken care of it anyway. Sometimes we are definitely right and our husbands wrong, but the Lord takes care of us anyway.