“Girls! Get your shoes on!” I yelled as I got little Jason ready to go. I could still hear all three girls playing. “Girls! It’s time to go. Get your shoes on right now!” I wasn’t that far away from them. I knew they heard me, but none of them had made any attempt to obey. “Stop what you’re doing and get your shoes on. We’re going out to eat!” It was our Christmas break and I wanted to take them somewhere special. I could feel my tension building, however, because they were all still ignoring me. I yelled the name of one of my girls and said, “Come here!” By the time she came, I had changed my mind. Why was I going to take them somewhere special if they weren’t going to obey?
“Never mind,” I told her, “We’re not going.” Now I had their attention. They were most indignant. They let me know that I was the worst mom ever. And you know what? They were right, not because I didn’t take them out to eat, but because if all three thought they could ignore me three times and get away with it I had been doing something wrong. It would be so easy to blame them for their horrible behavior, but truthfully it was just evidence of my bad parenting. Sigh. Parenting. It’s so easy to have the right answers for being a good parent, but doing all those things consistently–not so easy. I explained why we weren’t going and began putting something together for lunch.
The next day at about the same time, I yelled, “Girls! Get your shoes on!”
This is what I heard: “Hurry! We’ve got to HURRY. Mom said ‘Get your shoes on!’” They were all ready and standing by the door within a couple of minutes! Ah, what great children they are! 😉
We all make goofs as parents, but the key to keeping on top of the game is sticking to your guns. You didn’t cave to guilt or pressure of “being a bad mother”. You weren’t. Your girls learned a valuable lesson and hopefully one which will stick with them for years to come. Way to go, Mom!
I was the perfect parent before I had children!!!
Way to go! I am not sure if I would have thought to stay at home instead, such a great response though. You are not a bad mom, all kids test like this…at least mine do at times 🙂
You hit the nail on the head, Esther! Mom realized many years (and children) ago that when she became frustrated by our behavior or attitudes, it was because she had let those things go uncorrected for too long. It’s much harder to stay on top of their obedience level and be consistent all day, every day, but as the years go by you are rewarded by children who are actually happy and pleasant to be with! Like me! 🙂 Realizing the root of the problem while your children are still young will be so helpful to you in coming years.
Children will always test parents…our kids always think we are the worse parents going until they see someone who really does have a mad mom then they are thankful for the mom they have.
Seems to me you handled it perfectly! (And your children learned from it!) 🙂
Great post! I hate having to enforce the consequences I put in place for my kids! LOL I know it has to be done, but I so want to bless them sometimes, and they just won’t cooperate! I wonder sometimes if that’s how God feels about me… “I’d love to bless Tori with _____, but she’s just too busy walking her own path to follow Mine….”
Thanks for the post. It’s an encouragement to all parents!
@ Tori, I pondered those same thoughts!
Reminds of the time my boys were misbehaving at the grocery store and I walked out with both in tow, leaving a full grocery cart behind. They were dumfounded. No cookies or ice cream that night. I made my point, though.
As did you. Way to go!
Well, kids love to ignore. I usually have to check on my 4 year old several times after I tell him to get dressed, to make sure that he’s making progress and hasn’t become distracted by the nearest toy/book/bed/cat/etc.
You are bad mom too? So while they are young I think I am a bad mom but when they get older that start telling me I am a bad mom…oh great! My house sounds just like this! Nice to know I’m in good company!
I have this same issue with my children. Today was one of them…sigh. Homeschool did not pan out today. One issue I have is that my daughter has Aspergers so she sometimes does not hear me. It’s not because she’s being a brat. It’s because she can’t focus on anything for over 30 seconds. So then I have to figure out with all my God given wisdom – is she playing me or is it Aspergers. Its so tough being a mom. But I think the one thing I need to remember is to expect 1st time obedience from my kids. If I have to remind them, they have already disobeyed. If I have to threaten or do the countdown, its too late. I need to expect more from them. Thanks for reminding me of that. I think we all need a good kick in the pants when it comes to parenting. It’s so easy to be lazy.
Wow!!! Good for you, Esther, for enforcing discipline. I can imagine how difficult that must’ve been. It sure taught them, didn’t it? Don’t be so hard on yourself. You saw a flaw, and you corrected it. Sounds like you’re no longer the worst mom ever 🙂
Great reminder on consistency! Thanks ~Jessica
Good lesson:)
I like your perspective on it – that it wasn’t just your kids’ fault, that you had something to do with it too, so you made adjustments for yourself accordingly. I think if more parents incorporated themselves into their equation, we’d have some better behaved kids in this world. I used to work in a place where I saw A LOT of horrible parenting, and the #1 problem was that they let their kids get away with stuff like not listening, and as the kids got older it progressed into worse and worse behavior.
So stick to those guns, girlfriend! 🙂 Sometimes when your kids say you’re the worst mom ever, it really means you’re being the BEST mom ever because you’re giving them valuable life lessons and skills.
What mom hasn’t been in that situation? You handled it beautifully…and reminded me that the first person I need to correct when my kids aren’t behaving is ME!
LOL! Some kids DO learn!
Great job!! I do this every once in a while, when the ignoring me gets beyond just one reminder. Keeps them on their toes! And yes, they do obey better don’t they??!!
Hey,
You must live in my house. I feel the same way — all the time. I’m glad I always have another chance — and that God helps me out!
Hugs!
I know the importance of being consistent, but I have to constantly remind myself that one day it will sink in. Good post. 🙂
BTW, I found you from UBP 12!
There are sometimes I realize that the things I’m getting upset at my children for are things not really their fault or things that are just normal kid behavior. And it’s me that needs to change.