I received a comment a while back questioning why in the world I would confess to some of the hard times. It was a ranting comment that I found quite ugly in the way it was done. I tend to delete those. This is my space. However the question is fair even if the way it was handled wasn’t. Why would I post some of the struggles of our marriage for instance online?
I do not write and rant in anger at someone, especially not my husband. Everything I write about him is with his blessing. Someone once wrote, “It’s his permission, just admit it.” Yes, I definitely have his permission, but his blessing goes a step farther not less. He knows I don’t write in a way to put him down.
Here’s the thing. I think everyone goes through hard times, in varying degrees, yes, but we all struggle. Everyone. Many times I’ve had people tell me that we look so happy and have so much fun that we must be the perfect family. No! There is no perfect family. There is no perfect relationship. We all fail each other now and then.
I think it’s easy to look around at other couples or families and think that certainly they are perfectly happy. Surely they don’t struggle the way we do. At a conference I heard a quote, “Don’t compare your insides with other people’s outsides.” I love that! I think this happens so often.
One reason I share about hard times is the hope that someone else out there won’t feel alone. Chances are someone reading is going through something similar. Though we don’t wish hardships on others (I hope) there is real comfort in knowing someone else has gone through similar circumstances and survived.
In sharing hard times I also tell what got me through or what I learned through difficult times. Maybe what helped me might also help someone else. It is a way to be able to help carry someone else’s burden, even someone that I’ve never met.
My written word also serves as a testimony to God’s faithfulness in my life. In my next obstacle I can look back and remember how God carried me through before and be reminded that He will again. I want God to be glorified in my life. It’s in my weakness, in those tough times that I see Him the most clearly because I HAVE to depend on Him.
Sometime in my youth I became very disillusioned as I read the Bible. It seemed our Bible heroes were all flawed and in big ways! Why couldn’t God give us all perfect role models? Because there are none. Correction. There was ONE. The rest of us are all flawed, but we can give Him glory even as we learn and grow through our pain.
That’s not to say I share everything online! Just because I share some of our struggles, by no means do I tell all. Just so you know. Ha!
I’m linked with Messy Marriage.

I love that you are real and honest!!
I love that you share almost everything. I often wish I had the courage to do the same.
Of course you get his blessing to publish anything about your marriage on your blog. People can call it “permission” if they want. Wouldn’t you want someone to ask for YOUR consent before publishing something personal about a difficult time you went through on the internet? In this age of over-sharing on social media it’s important to recognize that some things need to remain sacred, namely our marriages. My marriage comes before my social media accounts and if my husband says “I’m not comfortable sharing that” I don’t share it, and he does the same for me. It’s called mutual respect.
That was such an amazing post! I love how beautifully you worded that. I just found another favorite quote! “Don’t compare your insides with other people’s outsides.” That is great advice. How often I fail at that! The only One we should compare ourselves to is Christ! Thank you for posting your hard times! So many times I can relate and it is such a personal blessing to me. 🙂
I love that you write it all and inspire us all to look inside and trust Upwards. Thank you for sharing it ALL!
You go, girl! How can people know the grace that is found in Christ during those hard times if we don’t share about our struggles and how He gets us through them? I’m so glad you do this, Esther. It’s a strength to humble yourself and admit that you and your hubby are human and sometimes struggle. Don’t ever let the naysayers stop you from being authentic and true! Glad to have you back in the Wedded Wed line up too, my friend!
Great post. Keep up the good work! We all have difficulties and struggles in this fallen world. It’s encouraging to read of Gods leading and faithfulness through the tough times.
@Mariclar, Thank you! I do hope my words encourage! 🙂