What? You want more children? That is the question, isn’t it, for any family that has more than two or three? Some people ask it out loud and aghast while others are just pleasantly curious. Though some argue that it’s none of anyone’s business, personally, the questions don’t bother me. I’m pretty inquisitive myself, and I feel that tactfully asked questions show you care.
From the time that we were married my husband and I both wanted four. He came from a family with four children and so did I. It seemed like the perfect number. We were in complete agreement until I had my third child and almost died mind you and my husband offhandedly threw out the comment, “You know I think you have time to crank out two more.” Now I can’t be sure that was his exact wording. He may argue. But that’s how I remember it. At first I thought it was a sick joke, but he was serious. “Are you TRYING to kill me?” I asked him. And that has been a running joke ever since.
So after we had our fourth, my husband kept saying, “Wouldn’t it be nice to have another boy so Little Jason isn’t alone?” Never mind that I couldn’t guarantee a boy! I lost a baby after that, and then the Lord blessed us with my husband’s heart’s desire, another boy. I thought we were done. I thought that five surely would be all. Then my husband’s tune changed to, “Wouldn’t it be neat to have another boy and have three girls and three boys?” As you know we recently experienced another miscarriage.
So the question remains, Do we want more children? Yes! It’s not that we don’t believe in birth control, although my husband tends to lean more to that side of the issue than I do, but we believe that children are a blessing. How could I not want another little Irish kiddo running around my house? And so, should the Lord bless us with another child, we will rejoice. If He doesn’t, we are content. If I should experience another miscarriage, then He will give me the grace I need when the time comes. And “If I perish, I perish.” 🙂
Thank you for sharing this! We had our 4th boy a year ago. When we were married, we never really discussed how many children we would have. I thought we would be done at 2, and then 3, and then 4, but now my heart tells me that God may have one (or more) for us. Thanks for sharing your beautiful family with us!
We kind of feel the same way. We have two kids right now and it seems for society that is the max! People keep asking us if we’re going to have more kids and we always say YES – we’d like to have at least one more baby, and we would also like to adopt. And then people look at us like we’re insane. LOL We don’t have a set number in mind, we’ll just take it one child at a time until it feels like our family is complete.
I love reading all your posts and we have opposite families. I have three boys and two girls with a miscarriage between the girls. I did decide to stop at five and my husband is the one who talked me into more ( after I finally had a girl) and he would still like more too but this body of mine can’t handle another pregnancy so adoption is sounding better. Thanks for sharing all your stories and your life and being so open and transparent.
It’s funny, because if you said you want to make more money, no one would blink. But children are so much more “precious than silver and gold.”
We just accepted another foster child into our family, and like you, people can’t believe it. We’re now up to 8 kids, with one brand new baby from my newly married daughter.
By the way, is that “If I perish, I perish” a quote from the Scroll of Esther? I know that’s what she says when she’s asked to go before the king, and being that she also was an Esther…:)
Yes, children are a blessing! 🙂
I’m like your husband ~ I think it would be “neat” to make it even, and have 3 girls and 3 boys. But who am I?
It sounds like you have a healthy attitude about the possible scenarios and will accept whatever God decides on your behalf.
I especially enjoyed the quote from your namesake, Esther = )
Even though we tried to have more and God only blessed us with two, I think it’s wonderful to see large families. And I think it’s a blessing that your husband wants more children. So often it’s the husband who limits the family. I think your attitude is a good one.
I had that “If I perish, I perish” moment, too. I don’t exactly have words for it, but I felt like I love being a mother so much, there is really nothing better. If I have to risk my life in childbirth, it would be worth it, because really, is there a nobler thing?
🙂
Great post! And beautiful children!!!
You have a gift for expressing yourself and holding our interest! And this was a post that demonstrated that in touching on a sensitive issue with humor and grace!
couldn’t agree with you more! children ARE a blessing!
Thank you so much for sharing this!
I was just talking to my husband this morning about how I think children are a blessing from God and how I think my calling is to raise as many Godly children as He grants us. “And so, should the Lord bless us with another child, we will rejoice. If He doesn’t, we are content.” <– I love this! I need to keep this in mind as we pray about expanded our little family!
Love your blog!!
Esther, God has certainly blessed you with a beautiful family — and your children with a lovely mother. To think you might be willing to risk your life … trading being there to help nurture and train them in the ways of the Lord … in order to have another child is a sobering thought. I’m sure it’s not a decision you or your husband will take lightly. Happy Mother’s Day wishes to you!
Thank you for sharing this. It is harder isn’t it when you lose babies.
I have a section on large families on my blog – with interviews of people with as many as 16 children, if you are interested.
Thank you for sharing this. I have been going back and forth trying to decide how many children I want to have. I want a large family . . . but the prospect of the pregnancies, labors/deliveries, and months of nursing are discouraging to me. Add to that that I’ve had one miscarriage. I’m fearful that I will lose more babies.
Anyway, I appreciated your post. It’s encouraging.
I loved this post!! I had my tubes tied after my third baby. Pregnancies were extremely hard on me. (As judging from this post they were for you as well.) If they weren’t such a scary experience for me, I do declare I’d have a house full of kids as well.
Kids definitely are a blessing!! Thanks for sharing.
Love that you’re flipping society on its head! We’re definitely from the camp of ‘two is enough for us’ but love to see large families (I have five siblings) flourishing. Keep on keepin’ on and I hope we’ll soon see another post about a new bun in the oven.
Reading your post and the comments that have been left I though I would share what we have.. I came from a family of seven and my husband is the baby of two.. So when we talked about kids before marriage I said I would like a large family.. He was okay with that but after marriage it has come out what he had thought a large family meant.. (4 kids) lol We have had many laughs over this as we have passed that up a long time ago.. The Lord has blessed us many times over in the past ten and a half years. We had the 3 boys and 3 girls that you have been talking about.. Then the Lord decided to bless us again with our seventh.. During the whole pregnancy the kids would go back and forth over it having to be a girl or a boy and most of them saying baby had to be twins so we didn’t mess up the ratio.. 🙂 When baby came and was another little girl my oldest who was 9 said right away that I better have another baby and it better be a boy… It has been ten and a half months since baby and I hear all the time that they are waiting for another baby. Its great fun when we are out in public and they start this conversation as people look at them like they are nuts.. We will see if the Lord blesses us again with another child.. As we also believe that children are a blessing from the Lord and who doesn’t want to be blessed.. 🙂
You know, I was in a 9 week Bible study on Esther both of the times I had miscarriages. Esther is definitely my favorite book of the Bible. “If I perish, I perish” is a powerful quote.
Beautiful post with great message. What a blessing you have in those kiddos!! Thanks for linking up over at WholeHearted Home this past week.
I had 5 of my own kids and my oldest daughter already has 6 and 1 on the way. Not only did I get sick of hearing, “are you going to have more kids?” Now as a granny, I seem to always be defending my daughter’s desire to have a big family. What happened to discretion? I don’t get why people think they can even ask you if you’re planning more. R u d e. By the way – you have a beautiful family!
Love that last line! I come from a large family of 9, and i enjoy the love, laughter warmth and friendship. Growing up we had too much sibling squabbles and told our mum we’d “keep it small”..lol We really enjoy the warmth of a large family, it’s a true blessing.
Dropping in from Messy Marriage.
When my husband and I got married, we told everyone that we wanted 6 children. They all assured us that we would change our minds.
After 3 kids in 2.5 years, we found out we were expecting again . . . twins this time. Yep. We had our first 5 kids in 4 years. Crazy is putting it mildly. 🙂 The day after the twins turned 1, we found out that #6 was on his way. We then had the “perfect family”: 3 boys and 3 girls.
But . . . . we didn’t stop there. No. We kept wondering if kids were really “cheaper by the dozen”. That’s right. We now have 6 girls and 6 boys. Not cheaper . . . but we are sure rich in love.
Yes. Children are a blessing. And, it’s not that we believe all birth control is wrong. No. We just believe that the Lord will give us all that He wants us to have.
Blessings to you and your beautiful family,
Laurel
mama of 12 (ages 11, 11, 13, 14, 16, 19, 22, 24, 24, 26, 27, 28)
Since we struggled to have our two, our understand the desire for children whether it be 2, 4, 6, or 12! Regardless we love them, cherish them and long for them.
Good for you! I have friends with many children and hear the comments sometimes. People are often appalled, as if directly affects them! We have two, I would have liked more. My dh from a large family that wasn’t a good experience. It took me years of hoping for more anyway. I have learned to be content. God bless you in your journey
This is just so awesome! I love your take on being a mother! And by the looks of it, you are truly an inspiration if there ever was one. Good for YOU! 🙂
God forbid, you perish! But I appreciate your commitment and love for your children and husband, Esther. I’ve always wanted more children than I have. I love kids, but I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, so that put a kink in pregnancy plans. I did have one of my sons, while on some milder RA meds, but felt it wasn’t a risk we wanted to take again. I always feel a twinge of envy though when I see big families. They always seem like so much fun. Although it takes a ton of money to feed a big brood too. 🙂 I’m praying God would give you the desire of your heart–so either God will change your hearts desire or give you that blessed bundle someday! Thanks for linking up at the Wedded Wed linkup!
It’s definitely a personal decision.
After we had two, when I got pregnant with #3, people assumed it was because we wanted to try for a girl- nope, we just wanted more.
My family has to make a lot of decisions that go against societal norms(our oldest daughter has special needs). It seems like people always have a lot of questions, but I am like you, if you ask politely I don’t mind talking about why we chose to make certain choices. I feel the world would be a better place if more of us just embraced the differences we have!
This question and “when are you having another one” (to a mom who has been trying really hard for two years) are curious questions. I don’t mind being asked and my answer varies depending on my mood. Sometimes I’m okay with just one and that’s what God intends and sometimes I’m all about sharing our journey of trying for a 2nd (and 3rd, but I totally wanted 4 or 5)
“How could I not want another Irish kiddo running around the house?” I love that!! We had four — all boys — and what a joy it was. It was busy, crazy, head-spinning joy! (Saw your link over at Messy Marriage)
When I was in my late teens, I always said that IF I had children, I wanted 2. I was convinced I would have one of each (oh, the naiveness of youth). Our first pregnancy was a complete surprise (it was a girl). We discussed having one more after her. We had another girl. We decided to go for another one. We got twin girls. Even though we had 4, which was the most we discussed having, we decided for one more. We got twin girls, AGAIN. (Score: Girls – 6, Boys – 0). I intended to get my tubes tied after them but didn’t have the paperwork done in time for my insurance. I was also advised that I should not have anymore or risk a miscarriage (early or late), my life, or both of our lives. We were content with the 6. A year and a half later, I got pregnant again. Complete shock. I ended up finally having a son and I almost died in the OR during my c-section. I also had my tubes tied. I got questions after number 2 about why did we want more. Were we not content with just 2. Of course, we were happy with the 2. We didn’t keep having more because we weren’t happy. {Saw your link at the Things I Can’t Say Pour Your Heart Out Linkup}
You are right children are a blessing. I wish I had been taught that when I was younger. I was taught that you had one, maybe two, because you know you can’t afford more. So that is what we did. A boy came first, he will be 25 soon, and then a girl, soon 20. Then we stopped and I was surgically sterilized. I now know that children are a blessing and would have loved to have many more. However, at this time in my life I am fighting health problems and money is not in the picture for adoption so all I can do is teach my children to not give in to pressure. My daughter wants at least 5 so I am happy and hope to one day be a grandma. 😉
God works in wonderful ways. I remember when we announced #4 was coming. I suddenly realized I’d gone from typical, for both my family and church, to bigger than any other family around.
There was one older gentleman at church who quietly thanked me for allowing God to bless us again. It was HUGE for me. My parents have always been supportive, but the larger body of Christ matters a lot too.
I’m praying my #7 little one we just found out about doesn’t follow its next older sibling to Jesus’ arms right away, but I know God will help us, even when we need to buy a fullsize van to fit us all in one vehicle.
😀
May God bless you with peace and assurance no matter what He asks of you.
I so want more children I have two boys and feel the same way if the Lord blesses us with more I’ll be thrilled but if not I’m okay with that too. my husband is on a different page he was fine with one then 10 months after our first surprise number two came along but now he is dead set against it and I just can’t comprehend it. I understand his reasoning but I see my side as well but I’ll just have to keep praying the Lords will not mine
God bless you! I love reading your blog, and I totally agree that children are a gift from God.
I simply wanted to comment that birth control does hurt people. I don’t want to cause a huge stir, but it is the factual truth. Birth control can cause abortion and the artificial chemicals affect a woman’s body negatively because they aren’t natural.