I held the little plastic pregnancy test in two hands and watched for the positive sign to appear. I didn’t have to wait long. There it was. Positive. Just like I thought. Emotions clashed inside of me. I felt happiness that another life was growing inside me, but immediately the memory of the loss of my last baby came rushing to my mind with all the accompanying emotions. Would I be able to see and hold this child someday or would I lose this one too? As both kinds of thoughts swirled around in my mind I felt somewhat numb. I found my husband and showed him the pregnancy test. He just hugged me.
We decided not to tell people this time until after we saw our doctor, mostly because we think the kids should be the first to know, but also because we didn’t want them to suffer the way they did last time should I have another miscarriage. So I waited for five more weeks until I could see my doctor.
Thursday was my appointment, and Jason met me at the doctor’s office. I was very nervous to see the ultra sound. Our youngest two were with us, but we didn’t tell them ahead of time. Jason decided to go ahead and take them in because he wanted to be there.
I lay down on the cold table and watched the screen as the camera searched for a baby. Then there it was—a little blob of a baby bouncing around! I could see the little heart beating before the technician even pointed it out to me. When she let me hear the heart beat, tears streamed down my face. This baby is alive!
That is when Jason brought it to the kids’ attention. “See, kids, there is a baby in Mommy’s belly. There is the baby’s heart beat.”
Grace looked with big, round eyes and simply said, “I knew that, because I prayed. It’s a boy!”
On the way home she repeated that she had prayed for another baby and added, “Because you were sad and cried, I prayed.” So sweet!
The doctor said that the baby measures exactly like it should and that everything looks perfect. I know, of course, that there are no guarantees and lots could still go wrong. I would appreciate your prayers for a safe and healthy baby and pregnancy!
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