About three weeks after the onset of my Bell’s Palsy I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror, as I had done each morning, in hopes that I could move my face again. On this morning it seemed like maybe I had just a little more movement. It was ever so slight though so I wondered if it was just my imagination. I didn’t mention it to anyone, but I felt somewhat hopeful. The next day however, I was sure that there was just a little more movement than the day before. And so each day for the next two weeks I regained a little more movement.
I was extremely excited. I could smile again, albeit a little crooked. Someone reminded me that my smile has always been crooked! The neurologist said that I regained 80-90% of the movement back. Even though it is not 100% today no one would notice that I ever had Bell’s Palsy but, when I’m tired I can tell, especially in pictures, that the left side of my face droops slightly. I am just happy that I can smile at my husband and children!
When Grace was six weeks she had a procedure done to find out what was going on in her kidneys. The Dr. said that she did indeed have reflux in both kidneys. She would need to be on daily antibiotics to keep her from getting an infection that could damage her kidneys. I agonized over giving her daily antibiotics but found the alternative too risky. A year later, however, they tested her again to find the reflux gone! The doctor was amazed. She said it is very rare in girls to recover within the first year and that girls with this problem usually end up needing surgery. We had so much to thank the Lord for!
Things in my marriage got better gradually. I learned so much about myself during that dark time. A verse that came to mind often was “…for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45)
I remember praying that my husband would be all the things I wished he was, not even realizing the selfishness in that. I cannot change my husband, but I am responsible for myself–to continually grow to be more like Christ. I saw that I could not be bitter and angry toward him in my heart all day and then be the sweet, loving wife I wanted to be. What was in my heart would inevitably come spewing out. During the day instead of dwelling on all the things I wished he would be, when my thoughts would take this route I would begin listing all the great things about him–and there were great things about him. As my attitude toward him changed the way he responded to me changed as well.
We began reading books aloud together in the evenings as I was nursing the baby. This became a great time of fellowship. We read several books none of which were on marriage, but this time together really did strengthen our relationship. The two I remember that we read specifically during this time were Shepherding a Child’s Heart, by Tedd Tripp and The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer, both I would highly recommend.
Well, there were hard times before this year, there have been hard times since then, and there will be hard times in our future, but I know that no matter what comes that as long as I trust God and lean on Him, He will get me through and grow me until the day He calls me home.