I was a skinny, bony kid. I remember other kids always grabbing my wrist and measuring how little it was with their fingers. They would laugh at my skinny stick legs coming out of the bottom of my denim culottes. For the most part I didn’t mind very much. I just loved to laugh and play.
I was a skinny, bony teenager as well. Naturally, this is when it was a little tougher. I remember eating as much as I could in an attempt to gain weight. I even counted calories to make sure I got enough, but to no avail. I could not gain an ounce. I was not a pretty skinny. I felt utterly unattractive. It was not unusual to have people stop and stare as I walked by and I could hear them say in hushed horrified tones, “Did you see how skinny that girl was?”
When I got to boarding school, my dorm parents and teachers alike thought I had an eating disorder. One teacher even called me “Anorexia” for a while. He forever earned my respect one day when he noticed I didn’t like it. He asked me if it bothered me, and I said, “Yes.” He apologized and never said it again. But I had seen pictures of people with this disease, and there was nothing attractive about them.
I was just as skinny when I went to college. I remember one incident in particular. I got all ready to go down to the lunch room and felt like I looked nice. It was a good hair day. As I stood in line for my food, one of the popular upper classman walked over to me and said, “You might be pretty if you’d gain some weight,” and walked back to his table. I think those were the only words he ever spoke to me. People all around snickered but didn’t say anything. I thought to myself, “If I said something like that to an over-weight person, those standing in line would hate me forever.” Why do people think it is okay to treat skinny people like that? These are just a few examples. Unfortunately I could tell you many more.
I think I was in my mid twenties before I finally gained a few pounds. Now after four children I am forever trying to lose those five to ten vanity pounds. Recently, my eldest daughter declared, “Mom, you’re not fat and you’re not skinny. You’re just normal.” Just think. I had to wait 39 years to hear those words!
I’m linked to Memory Lane Friday and Weekend Bloggy Link-up.
Great post! I am forever telling my children (and somedays reminding myself) that “We don’t just people’s bodies”. Period.
I get, “uncle Rob, you’ve got such a funny tummy – it’s so big and squishy!” from one of the boys. One of the grade 3s hit me in the tummy the other day too and proclaimed, “You’re fat! Now turn me upside down!” (I’m not sure what the two things had to do with each other). I too was skinny. When I played rugby I thought I would break. What’s up with the body after the age of 30?
oh my goodness, Esther. I’ve been one of the fat people that’s been made fun of forever and didn’t have a clue skinny people were experiencing this. My best friend of my whole life (we became friends at ages 9 mo. and 11 mo. SHE’S the older one.haha) has always been really skinny. It’s the first thing people would comment on whenever meeting her for the first time. I didn’t realize it bothered her until we were in high school.
One time when I was in college (coincidentally, we went to the same college), we were in science class one night and some kid turned around (wonder if it was the brother of the guy who was mean to you) and told me “You’re fat and ugly.” Gee – thanks. I started bawling. On the spot. Later that night or the next day he called to apologize to me. There was nothing he could do to erase that pain.
I agree with your daughter – you’re normal. Actually – judging from the pictures I see of you, you’re more than normal. I think you’re perfect and beautiful.
How sweet for your daughter to say that. I always thought you were so pretty in the Parkview days, if that helps!
When I was in high school I went on a 2 week mission trip to Jamaica and came back with a parasite. Only we didn’t know it. Already naturally skinny, I became ill and lost a lot of weight. People were calling up my mom telling her I was anorexic. It took forever for doctors to test for this parasite, because it’s one not found in the US.
Sorry people teased you so mercilessly. Sounds like you’re in a happy place now!
I always thought you were one of the most attractive girls at school. You have bright blue eyes, long hair and a great smile. It’s good that you feel comfortable about your weight now. Most people don’t.
WHAT?!!? At OUR Bible College? What a horrible, horrible thing to say. Wow. I’m so very peeved right now, you have no idea. You were (and are) always beautifully perfect in my eyes.
On the other end of the spectrum, when you get large, you disappear! It’s like magic, in an ugly, nasty sort of way. Or, if you can be seen, the only part of your body which people see is your face. As in, “You have such a pretty face.” Doesn’t take a genius to read between those lines. You know, I’m pretty sure that we–as ‘new creatures’–can just take people where they are and love them as the ‘be’. To do otherwise is–always, and simply–sin.
-J
I LOVE that your daughter, through innocent loving eyes, could tell you the words– that God always thought from day one.
I’ve been insulted my whole life for being bony and skinny, too. It’s ludicrous that now that I’ve turned 40, I actually have to lose weight! I am unfamiliar with diets, since I’ve never been on one. But exercise alone doesn’t cut it. No wonder bigger people have been mad at us all these years. They have rolls of fat that are impossible to get rid of no matter how hard they try. And here we are eating a hamburger and fries. I can see why they would be mad…
That is so mean and hurtful, I just don’t understand mean teasing at all. I am so sorry that you went through that. We tell our girls that God made everyone just the way that He wanted them. What your daughter said is so sweet!
Great post, Esther! I didn’t know you “back then,” but you are certainly beautiful now.
I have to be honest though, I have seen people who were SO skinny that I couldn’t believe my eyes. I think it is natural to wonder if the person is OK. Does he have an eating disorder? Is she going through chemo? Because sometimes that IS what it is! But, I would never say something rude about it to the person!
I was a “runt” until I was in my mid-20’s. Short (well I am still short, LOL!) and thin with no curves at all. When I was in college, I found a formal dress with shirring along the hips. It made me look like I had curves and I loved that!
During spring semester of my freshman year, I was *stressed*. I didn’t realize it, but I had lost a few pounds. It took my tall, THIN friend to make me realize I looked anorexic. She was in my dorm room with me when I changed shirts and she said, “Are you eating? I can see your ribs!” At 5’2, 18 years, and 93 pounds, I did NOT look healthy. I made note of it and started eating more regularly and was fine.
Now, of course (like most of us), I can’t get rid of the weight I want to lose. LOL! I now weigh 180. That’s a whole person gained! (At my highest, I was 197, so at least I am moving in the right direction now.)
Very sweet of your daughter to point that out in her beautiful innocent way! I once made a comment to a “skinny person” that I felt bad for making for a long time. I had meant it as admiration but said it with a dose of sarcasm. I apologized and explained myself and all was forgiven but I am more careful now.
I can totally relate with this post! I love your perspective! I have started a blog where people share their disappoints as successes. I love your little son’s comment about “Mom, you’re not fat, you’re not skinny…you’re normal!” I think it would make a great contest submission for my blog.
From your photos you look like a very attractive person.
Great post! I remember those days when I too was teased for being too skinny. I remember hearing whispers of “anorexic” as I walked down the halls at school, teachers asking me about my weight etc. My friends would even question me from time to time. It didn’t matter what I would eat, I did not gain weight. Even after a couple of kids I stayed “skinny”. Now, at 33 and baby #7 on the way I have to watch what I’m eating a bit closer.
Esther, I was the skinny kid too. Right down to the “how small are your wrists” tests. One guy had me try on his class ring. I could fit three fingers in it with room to spare. Crazy! My college roommate almost clobbered me when I got back to school from spring break freshman year and proclaimed, “Guess what. I finally weigh 100 lbs.” I can’t say that anymore. Age and metabolism are catching up, but I’m thankful I had a head start toward old age and will embrace being “just right.”
sorry you had to go through that-why can’t people focus on positive stuff? i guess you can’t blame someone from thinking anorexia but i’d never say anything if i didn’t really know the person and their background
I wish people would just mind their own business either way and refrain from commenting on the size of others. It’s just plain hurtful. Thanks for linking up!
I feel ya! I’ve been dealing with this my entire life. My mom never could accept that I did not have an eating disorder! For instance, I would tell her I didn’t want apples for my lunch and she would freak out before I could tell her I just wanted a different fruit. Crazy things like that. My little sister and her friends always told me I looked anorexic. I have never, ever been anorexic!
I think it’s probably just as hard to be skinny as it is to be overweight! I’ll never understand why people can’t just accept the way other people look and move on. Look a little deeper than just waist size!
Wow, Esther! I had no idea. I ALWAYS thought you were beautiful and wished I were skinny like you. This will probably make you laugh, but I was actually a bit intimidated by you because I thought you were so pretty.
Goes to show that we all have our issues, no matter how others perceive us. 🙂
Just from the pictures here on your blog, I think you are just lovely! I actually can’t believe a teacher gave you a nickname like that (even if he did stop), it’s just not cool.
Great post though!:)
Way to go, Faith! <3
Thank you for stopping by and leaving such a supportive comment on my blog. I agree with you. It’s best if kids learn those important lessons at a young age.
thanks so much for your post. I only recently realized that I have believed a lie most of my life-that thin people didn’t have as many problems. Isn’t that ridiculous? Furthermore, I believed that if I could only lose weight, my problems would go away. Even as recently as this past year, I would feel surprised when someone thin and beautiful would unconditionally accept me as her friend. I have a lot of very beautiful friends! Now, I am finally learning to look beyond their appearance just as they have done for me, and offer to support them through the challenges they face, instead of assuming they don’t need encouragement or support. And by the way, you are lovely!