I’ve heard sermons on serving, read books, done Bible studies, and the truth is I’m not good at it, at least not in the ways people around me expect. That sounds like such a horrible admission! People seem to be constantly doing, doing, doing and just watching them exhausts me.
I have thought and prayed about this often, and there are a few things that impact my lack of “serving.”
1. So many things seem unimportant to me. To me so many things people are constantly doing have little value. For example I don’t care that much about externals. My home is not beautifully landscaped on the outside or beautifully decorated on the inside. It never bothered me to drive an old, ugly van until it quit running well. I usually don’t buy a new purse until people start commenting, “Your purse is falling apart.” I don’t spend lots of time and money on all the latest fashions. I couldn’t care less that my nails aren’t manicured. So many of these things are very important to others, but to me they seem like a waste of time and money. Don’t get me wrong I don’t see anything wrong with someone fixing their homes, cars, or nails. It’s just that those aren’t my priorities. And it’s the same with so many “serving” opportunities. I don’t see the value in them.
2. I’m not good at it. You know it’s hard to step up and volunteer to do something you don’t feel good at, at least for me it is. For example, at most churches where do women usually serve? The children’s classes of course. In my head I always hear it in cave man voice, “You woman. You work with children!” Ahhh I’m not good with children. Children make me crazy. Ha ha. I know. I know. I’ve heard that sermon a million times from preachers, that if you don’t love working with children you can’t possibly be a Christian. But at the end of the day, I do know the Lord, and still prefer not to work with young children. I always said I taught high school on purpose. I love teenagers! It’s not that I don’t like children. One at a time, that’s how I like ’em. So of course God blessed me with five. It’s His daily reminder that I can’t do life without Him! But with five kids at home all day long as I homeschool, I’m already kid maxed out. Kids crafts, coloring, messes…I feel sick just thinking about those things. Now I’m not saying I haven’t volunteered to work with the children’s classes through the years. I have, and I will again, just that it’s an example of something I’m not good at, nor especially enjoy.
3. The complaining! There’s probably nothing that hinders my desire to serve and volunteer more than the complaining. I already feel like spending my Saturday evening endlessly gluing on bows for the latest Christmas social is completely pointless. It’s not my thing. I’m just pretty sure the dinner will taste just as good without the expensive, time consuming decor. Ha ha. But when I go out there and do my best only to have people complain all around me, I can’t stand it.
Years ago I helped with Vacation Bible School at my church two years in a row. My job both years was to serve the food. That I could do. That sounded like fun! The first year whoever planned the food went super-duper healthy. There were snacks like beef jerky, carrot sticks, cheese, etc. You will not believe how many of the other volunteers and moms helping with the children complained about the food. “How is this a treat?” “What child is going to want this for a snack?” “Why didn’t they get anything good?” I was just serving the food. I didn’t say anything.
Oh boy am I getting long winded. Please follow this link for the rest of the story…