Events following the birth of our first daughter were indeed dramatic. One week after she was born, I hemorrhaged and had to be hospitalized. The week after that we once again landed in the hospital.
Our precious little girl decided one day to quit eating. I was nursing and tried everything I could think of to get her to eat. She’d been nursing just fine before that. I wasn’t alarmed at first. I just figured that when she got hungry enough she would begin to nurse again.
After about a day and a half she was visibly thinner, and when I took her temperature, I realized she was running a fever. We loaded her up and headed to the emergency room…again. It was so hard to watch those doctors poke and prod on my little two-week old baby. They didn’t have any answers for me, but at the hospital they finally got her to drink some formula.
I was devastated. Somehow at that point my perception of success as a mother hinged on nursing my child, and I had just failed. It sounds silly, doesn’t it? The doctors decided to keep her overnight for observation, so for the third weekend in a row we were sleeping at the hospital.
They assigned a lactation nurse to me. Nobody could figure out why my baby quit nursing. I was at the end of my rope emotionally.
Finally, a nurse came to talk to me. She told me that although nursing is the best thing for my baby, she would be just fine on formula. She said that she didn’t nurse her first child–at all, and that she was a very healthy sixteen year old. As crazy as it sounds, that was exactly what I needed to hear. If I failed at nursing my baby would be okay.
She finally started nursing again later that day. We were so thankful because three weekends in the hospital were enough! I think that her refusal to eat was a direct result of what I had been through the week before with the blood loss and pain meds. I did go on to nurse her for an entire year.
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THat is seriously not a fun thing to go through as a new mom!
I struggled with nursing two of my boys – they didn’t want to latch on and it was so hard emotionally. It took time but they worked through it and were able to breastfeed for the first year. Breastfeeding is natural but it can also be very difficult for some moms.
That is so scary! How awful to be at the hospital for three weekends in a row. That must have been terrifying, especially being a new mom! I am so happy to hear that it ended well though 🙂
When I had my boys, breastfeeding was not as “preferred” as it is today.
I tried with my first baby, but it did not work very well.
Chris finished out on formula, as did my second child.
As long as they are healthy, that’s all that matters.
Scary stuff! Especially with a first baby! Glad it all turned out ok!
Oh my goodness! How scary – and with a newborn!! So glad that you were able to continue nursing her 🙂
I am so glad that nurse gave you the gift of making you feel less like a failure. I am also glad you were able to continue doing what you felt was best for your baby. Great post!
I remember how I felt when I discovered that nursing was not all sunshine and roses and snuggles! The first few days were HARD. He simply would not nurse for his first 24 hours. Everyone had always told me “Oh, they just latch on automatically – it’s a reflex” and I was sitting in my hospital bed thinking “You LIE!!!!”. The lactation consultant at the hospital helped us the next day by having us cup-feed him some formula, and then for the next 24 hours I followed a 2 1/2 hour pattern of nurse, pump colostrum, cup-feed. By the time we left the hospital little guy was nursing like a champ, but dang was it rough at first. I wish someone had been honest with me instead of trying to keep up that front of nursing being such a haloed experience.
What a relief when she started eating again…and what a challenging way to start motherhood! It amazes me how emotional I was for a few weeks after the birth of both my babies…and I had thought the emotional roller-coaster was bad when I was pregnant!
oh boy, you had a tough time after she was born-i loved breastfeeding my children but it’s also not an option for everyone. that was so nice of that nurse to take the time to talk to you and help you feel better.
Mine was the same at about the same age- and I took her into the ER too! How scary it can be when your first child refuses to nurse.
Oh, I hate to read stories of moms beating themselves up over stuff like that. I pumped exclusively with both my girls for 6 and 7 months respectively, until it wasn’t a viable option any more with them being mobile. When my youngest was in the NICU as a newborn for a week (had an infection), she had some formula…I guess because the nurses didn’t know I was pumping. At first I was a little upset about it, but decided it wasn’t the end of the world since she was eating–unlike some of her “roommates” who were just barely hanging on to life.
In the end, I think as long as you encourage healthy eating all around, it all turns out okay. 🙂
Bless your heart! What a horrible few weeks that must’ve been for you. I had problems breastfeeding one of mine. He was HORRIBLE at it. I cried in pain for a month before I finally couldn’t take it anymore and gave up. It took my Hubby telling me that the baby would be okay if I didn’t nurse him. I felt so guilty, but he ate so much better from a bottle. I wish I knew what made moms feel so guilty when things like this happen.
I’m so glad I found this post through Serenity Now! Though our circumstances are different, I know that “silly” perception of success as a mom and the feelings of devastation. In fact, I’m doing a whole series on it as part of “Baby Week” on my site! Would love for you to check it out!
So glad you were able to go on and nurse her for a year! 🙂
I got pregnant with #2 when my little girl was 4 months old and I was already noticing a drop in my supply when I got my period (YES, I got my period THREE times inbetween post-delivery bleeding and getting pregnant four months later), but when Eva was 5 months old, my supply just started going away! I was so confused (I didn’t know I was pregnant because I had my period!!!) and started to take Fenugreek and pump pump pump!!! So from about month 5 to month 6, I exclusively pumped and began mixing breast milk with formula. I felt terrible because I really wanted to breastfeed her until she was at least 1 year old. Then I found out I was 2 months pregnant!!! And THAT explained everything! My body stopped making milk so it could give my baby inside me everything! From 6 months old and on Eva has been exclusively on formula and she is healthy and happy and that makes me happy! I pumped for about 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant again because I really did not want to go to 100% formula, but I was only pumping 2 ounces A DAY! So, my midwife suggested stopping pumping so I could give my baby inside me all that it needed. Long story short, formula feeding is the LAST thing I imagined or hoped for my baby girl, but life doesn’t always turn out as expected!!!