The other day Jason and I were talking about our dating relationship versus our marriage relationship. I told him that marriage was quite a shocker for me because I expected him to be just as interested in my views, desires, and wishes as when we dated and…uh…he wasn’t. 🙂 He didn’t really say much after this, and I forgot about the conversation. About three hours later Jason walked in the room and announced, “From now on I’m only going to think about you!” I looked up in shock wondering just who he HAD been thinking about. Finally he clarified, “I’m going to think about you and not myself.” Aw!
There are whole books written about how women expect their men to continue being as romantic and attentive as they were when they were dating. I think they think of it like hunting or shopping. Once you find what you want and take it home, you get on with your life.
Awwww… I like Frieda’s analogy – Shopping, never thought of it like that before.
That is the perfect analogy, but today it goes both ways. Romance (unless witnessed growing up) is never taught in the home and guys don’t wake up after their honeymoon automatically understanding what it means. Women have differing opinions too which doesn’t help. Your story although humorous is a great example of how we grow to understand our spouse. There are occasions still today that I learn something new about my wife and it happens much the same way as you described in your story. The key here is that your spouse actually listened, thought about it, and then communicated back. How awesome!
Now tell your hubby to stop all that romantic stuff. He’s making the rest of us guys look bad! No, really it’s sweet, and the way we all should behave. To borrow from Frieda’s analogy, we do tend to be rather singular in focus… and focus on the “next hunt”. Now that doesn’t mean another women, of course. The next hunt is likely that day’s work challenges and such. Guys are often surprised when they hear all that time they spend working makes their significant other feel like they don’t love them. Most guys are wired to provide, and we foolishly feel on some unconscious level that all that time spent working is going to make our families feel loved. It actually requires us to remind ourselves periodically that we are different from women, and we need to do more than kill some big animal (to return to Frieda’s analogy) and drag it home for dinner to show love. Sorry for going all Mars and Venus on you. Good blog!
Wow! What fun to come home to all of your great comments! The marriage relationship – all the ends and out of expectations and roles- just fascinates me. I love reading your reactions and experiences. Thank you so much for stopping by!
awwwwww…what a great husband you have. I love to hear stories like that. What a blessing.
Sounds as if you have a great marriage and an in-touch husband. PTL! Never stop working at it.
Blessings
Aww what a great guy! I’ve got one of those too and he does something really similar. When discussing an issue, we go our seperate ways for a little while (in our own home) & we think about it for a while & we are able to come to a resolution pretty peacefully. Sometimes time & thought are whats necessary.
That’s sweet, but after he goes to sleep a few times, he will forget that the conversation ever happened and never admit to saying such a thing. LOL LOL LOL I’m just kidding. That was really thoughtful of him to take what you said seriously.
Yea, there’s the dating relationship, the marriage relationship, and then the married with kidlets relationship…which is a whole other post! lol :> But, how sweet that he was still thinking about it three hours later!
I hope my husband will say that to me…lol
Oh my gosh! I can’t believe you have four children and one is nine! You look so young, which will definitely be a blessing when you get older. What a beautiful family you have. You are so right by telling your husband what you think, instead of thinking it all the time and not saying a word. Whether he does pay more attention or not, at least he knows.
LOL Men are so funny. I am quite a bit older than you, but I have a boyfriend who is well trained. He pretty much nods and smiles when he knows he is expected to. Visiting from blogfrog!
Awww, that’s the sweetest thing everrrrr! Yay for attentive husbands. 🙂
Incredibly sweet!
That put a total Awww on my face too. How sweet is that.
I love the beautiful picture of your family in your header.
I’m stopping by from Red’s BF Community.
Aww! I said “aw” too!! lol See?
Really, though, this is just too sweet! I love how people can completely shock you with a comment like this, and it means so much more when it comes from someone you love!! 🙂
It’s funny how relationships evolve, isn’t it! Things that were very attractive to me in the beginning are less so now as our relationship has changed. Now, while I still enjoy the original stuff, it’s things like watching his interactions with our kids, or seeing him do housework that really make me adore him.
Sounds like you’ve got a good one. 🙂
What a sweetie pie! Every stage is different and requires different things from us, but it is always important to continue to let our spouses know we love them, whether by listening, writing notes, giving gifts, lending a helping hand, or whatever it is that “floats our boat”. Thanks for sharing this peek at your marriage!
What a great guy you have, Esther! So funny and such a sweet reminder that we need to focus on our spouses. It’s easy for me to get distracted, so this is a message I needed!
Too cute! Just love that Jason of yours. He is such a rock.
Love it! How sweet. I think it’s just the cutest thing when little things like that pop out of someone’s mouth and make you feel so good. I made a similar vow a little over a year ago, to think of my mate and my love for him and how I could give love to him. So far it’s been an amazing journey. Thank you!