I hate balloons. I hate, I HATE balloons.
If you give a child a balloon he might smile…for a minute. I mean, if it’s a full minute that’s amazing, because usually within a few seconds something goes REALLY wrong.
The siblings. Rarely are there balloons to go around for all the children so usually one child doesn’t get one. That’s where it begins, “Waaaaa I want a balloon too….” So mom now has one gloating child and other crying children and always in a public place. Mommy puts on her happy face and begin consoling, instructing, encouraging, disciplining, threatening… I hate balloons.
The thumping. If by some miracle there are enough balloons to go around, mommy holds her breath until the next problem. Mom is trying to do shopping or visit with friends while children are all thump, thump, thumping the balloons. How can one THINK like this? I hate balloons.
The escape. Never, ever, ever can we get all the way back home and into the house with all the evil objects. Inevitably one sails up, up, up into the beautiful, quiet abyss that is not Mom’s world. “Waaaaa!” Once again Mommy puts on her happy face, though it’s not as convincing this time, and consoles, instructs, encourages. I hate balloons.
The car ride. If by a further miracle balloons are still in tact, as if there hadn’t been enough torture already, there is the car ride home. “She’s touching my balloon!” “He stole my balloon!” “She’s putting her balloon so I can’t see, ON PURPOSE!” “Stop it. She’s making my hair stand up!” Then of course there’s more thump, thump, thumping. I hate balloons.
The next escape. If balloons remain to this point, we’re all a scary mess, but never, and I mean never is it possible to open the car doors to get out without a balloon getting blown out into the street. Children lose their heads and go chasing them through the street, unavoidably falling and skinning their knees, in the middle of the street! True story. More crying children. I hate balloons.
The pop. Yes, of course, eventually they pop, either by accident or by a child with a suspicious grin left on his face. More tears. Please, make it stop! I hate balloons.
The fright. On a rare occasion a balloon survives the day. Children go to bed happy. Mom takes a stress less pill, and combs her additional gray hairs. Sleep comes. A cry in the night sends Mom up the stairs and through the dark house in search of her crying baby when, WHAM she slams into a ghost right in the middle of her usually clear hallway. Argggg! I hate balloons. I hate, I HATE balloons!
I am DYING laughing. All of this is SO TRUE!
lol I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
Haha, I agree wholeheartedly.
Balloon haters unite! 🙂
Dina P says
Ooohhhh, I really needed this laugh today.
This makes me happy! 🙂
Ha! So good to know I am not alone. Sometimes I feel like the crazy mean mom in a group of Michelle Duggars. Always working on that patience. Sigh:)
lol Would that we all COULD be Michelle Duggars! I just heard her speak at a homeschool conference. She amazes me! 🙂
Oh dear. My Town is having their annual festival tomorrow. Our church decided
to pass out free BALLOONS (with our name on them) to all the children.
Ha! I know we are going to win Moms hearts tomorrow. 😉 LOL
Oh Joy, how this made me laugh! I sure hope all went well with lots of happy children, no wind, and balloons to go around. lol
Love your honesty mama. Makes me feel soooo much better about my Talking-Elmo-Doll breakdown yesterday:)
Ha ha! My husband said that maybe we just have naughty children, but I say na it’s just the balloons. If it weren’t for balloons they are all angels. 😉
I’m not a big fan of balloons either. They can be fun for a short time, but I dislike the latex smell.
Yes, and someone else mentioned the squeaky sounds they make when the kids run their fingers over them. Argh!!! 🙂
AMB @ The Misfortune of Knowing says
Ha! It’s also bad when they DON’T pop or escape and instead hang around forever, sinking lower and lower, while cluttering up my house! My kids never let me throw them away.
Healing Mama says
I thought I was the only one who hated balloons. Hahaha! This was so funny!
This is bad who can hates a beautiful things… That gives us smile.. Happiness.. ???? . I love them so much that if I become parents I would give my children balloons every time they ask… Hahah Being 22yrs.