We have had more trouble with losing my three-year-old Little Jason than any of our other children. He is kind of a quiet, but happy, giggly child. The first time we lost him was coming out of a pizza entertainment center. Jason took the kids around the van to get them in their seats while I tended to the baby and stroller in the back. When I finished, I went to the side of the van and looking around asked, “Where’s Little Jason?” My husband looked at me blankly and then did a quick search of the parking lot. We found him pretty fast. He was hiding underneath a truck. Yep that pretty much gave me nightmares!
The next time I lost him was as we were coming out of the movie theater. I told Little Jason to hang on to my side, and the next thing I knew he was gone. A few seconds later we found him in a nearby hallway. Still, our heart stopped!
So when we went to the Huston Children’s Museum on our recent trip we knew to keep a close eye on him. It happened to be free day at the museum, and we were completely unprepared for the hoard of people that were there. In fact, we got there a half hour early and waited in a long line just to get in. The first half hour was fine, but after that it was just mass children everywhere we went.
We tag teamed who we were watching, had them stay in pairs at times, and kept a close eye on all of them. As we were leaving the jungle gym section and entering a separate room, we corralled everyone. Little Jason puckered up to cry. He didn’t want to leave that fun room. I assured him there was lots more fun to be had in the next room, and we all went through the doors. A minute later I looked around and didn’t see Little Jason. I asked my husband, and we both began searching. We looked throughout the entire room several times and still could not find our little blondy. Anxiety was building as we looked around, but when we were certain he was not in that room with us, panic set in.
The only other time I’ve ever seen my husband this panicked was after the birth of our first child when I hemorrhaged and he was rushing me back to the hospital, uncertain if I was going to make it. Other than that he has always been cool, calm, and collected, until this was happening. He was so agitated, I don’t think he was thinking clearly. He grabbed two of the kids and said he was heading to the front to report a missing child. I took the other two and frantically ran to go back and look in the room we had come from. I was praying continuously as I searched the next room. I can’t even describe to you the jumble of what ifs and far reaching images and scenarios went through my mind in that period of time. He wasn’t in the room, so I started up the stairs to the jungle gym maze calling his name. I looked up, and there he was walking down the stairs content as could be.
The instant I saw him and knew he was safe my concern switched to my husband. He was going crazy, and I had to get word to him that Little Jason was okay. I tried to call and text him as I battled the crowds to get to the entrance of the museum. When I got there my husband wasn’t there. I had him paged, but he still didn’t come. After several minutes I finally caught sight of him above the crowd. In his panic he had been going around and around and couldn’t find the entrance of the building.
Having found their brother the girls were ready to get back to the fun, but after what we went through we weren’t about to take that chance to lose anyone else in that crowd, so we cut our time there short and took our very disappointed girls out to the van. It took a good hour before my husband and I both calmed down after that experience. We probably lost him for a total of five minutes. If felt like at least an hour went by!
Have you had a child that slips away quietly like this? What steps have you taken to make sure that doesn’t happen again? We’re planning to take the kids to Disney World this winter (Yes it’s my dream come true!) and I want to be better prepared.
UPDATE: We did take precautions on our Disney trip, but yes, we still managed to lose him, so scary! Here’s what happened: I lost my child at Disney!
That’s scary! I never had trouble with any of my kids slipping away, but I have a couple of friends who have had a terrible time with theirs. The one little girl would sneak out of the house at night when everyone was sleeping, and run through the neighborhood. Someone found her wandering, without clothing, about a mile from home one night. They had to put locks on the inside of the door, above where she was able to reach, because nothing else they tried would work for her. Of course, that doesn’t help when you’re away from home. The only thing I would know to do at Disney World would be to label the inside of his clothing with his name and your phone numbers, and/or to use one of those little child “leashes” to keep tabs on him. I’m interested in seeing what advice everyone else has for you. My granddaughter is just beginning to walk, and I can see her having that “gotta explore” personality. I hope you all have a wonderful trip to Disney World. The new Fantasyland Expansion opens up December 6th. I just can’t wait to see it!
We have had our little guy slip away a few times…the first was at a minor league ballgame. He was a little over 2 years old and not talking yet. He was chasing after a mascot…and we were busy taking pictures of this mascot. They had to shut the doors to the stadium while we all searched for him. The ligths went out shortly after he went missing due to a fireworks show…after the show he ended up in the arms of my husbnands aunts cousin and she took him to security…..we were all so scared….looking back at our silly pictures we see him escaping up the stairs…10 adults altogether and we failed big time…so we bought road ID bracelets for kids…it has both my husband and my cell phone on it with the kids’ names. When I forget that we have stuck a name tag in his back with our info. Kind of cheesy…but you wouldn’t believe on how many people commented on what a good idea that was. Good luck…it is a scary thing!!
I remember slipping away from my mom at the store, and hiding beneath clothes racks, and laughing to myself as I listened to her call my name. When I finally got tired of the game and came out, I was astonished at how upset she was!
I think Theresa’s idea (above), regarding the kiddie leash, is probably your best bet. I know some people recoil at the thought of putting a kid on a leash like a dog or something, but those are probably the same people who’ve never been through the panic of looking for a lost kid.
Good luck, and have a nice time on your vacation!
I can empathize with you, Esther, as we lost our daughter at a children’s zoo once ~ scariest 5 min. of this mother’s life!!! After that, we used a child leash that connected our wrists together so that our kids could not be separated from us. It provided the safety and security we needed when we were out in crowded public venues with our kids.
Having them wear ID bracelets and/or tags with contact info would also be very helpful.
I’ve had this happen a couple of times with 2 different kids. My first experience was when my oldest was around two and his little brother was an infant. We were at the JC Penney Home store with my mom and a friend. We were just walking through the store and I noticed my 2 year old wasn’t with us. Immediately we split up and notified the staff. They radioed to each other asked for descriptions and locked the door. I was crying by this point… We were near the draperies and one of the store employees motioned for me to follow him and pointed to the draperies hanging on the wall. You could see 2 little shoes sticking out the bottom. I thanked him and he notified everyone that he was found. (He had pooped his pants and was hiding) We had us a nice long talk on the way back home.
The most recent situation (you might not want to read this) happened last fall at 6 Flags in St. Louis. We were there with our family of 7 and a friend of mine and her son. We had just gotten off a ride met up with the non-riders and noticed the train was getting ready to leave so decided quickly to jump on the train. Having 3 adults and 6 kids must of messed us up with making sure everyone was together. (this happened to be a train ride where they stop in the middle and have a little show/skit) We enjoyed the ride and when we all got off we did the normal counting of children and noticed our 5 year old girl wasn’t with us. Then we quickly realized she never had gotten on the train with us. I took 3 kids and my friend took 2 and my husband went by himself and we split up. I found a manager, quickly told him what happened and he talked to me very calmly and said he would take me to the lost parent “building” and radioed ahead. A couple minutes later my husband called and said she was there and we all met up there. She was sitting watching TV and eating candy and very calm. (The staff do a great job-must have lots of missing parents in a day)
She had gotten separated from us and started calling for us and crying and a staff person found her and took her to the place where they calmed her down and told her they would find us.
We went back the next day and all of us did a lot more counting and making sure everyone was right together. Holding our five year olds hand most of the time. 🙂
We have season passes to 6 Flags so have gone 4 or 5 more times since then and strongly stress to the kids they have to stay with us and we don’t split up unless 2 are riding a roller coaster that no one else wants to ride and the wait is an hour. Our almost 3 year old is still in a stroller or always holding on to the stroller. We don’t let her walk without holding on to someone or the stroller or she goes back into the stroller. (do you have a double stroller you could take to Disney World?) I haven’t done a “leash” before…
Could you have your kids “buddy” up. Oldest hold on to Jason and the 2 middle girls hold each others hands? One of you have the baby and the other brings up the rear and makes sure everyone stays together? I think children’s museums, zoos etc. are more difficult to keep track of kids than an amusement park. When the kids are playing in a “play area” with jungle gym/slides etc. I make the older ones take turns watching the younger one. They have to stay with her at all times to keep her safe and help her if she needs help.
I know I have rambled on a bit but hope that all goes well and he outgrows his wandering away phase.
Our youngest is a wanderer. Our others never left our side. Even when we were out in the yard they rarely went 10 feet from us. But not the youngest. Oh.My. He has always been a social butterfly, scares me to death,because he will talk to anyone. And at church, he has always felt as if he were at home. Church is over and he is gone to find one of his friends. We spend more time looking for him than it takes for the church to empty. Last year we lost him or to hear him tell it we were lost. And we didn’t even know it….I know WHAT?? We had driven separately to church that morning because my husband had to be there early. After church, my daughter & I left to grab a pizza for a quick lunch because our other son had a ballgame that afternoon. While picking up the pizza my husband called and said do you have K? I said, don’t mess with me of course I don’t. You told me to go get lunch. (he is a prankster) He said, I am not messing with you. A friend had just called him and said, are you still at church? K is looking for you. He says his Momma & Daddy are lost. (lol!!!) A case of I thought he had him and he thought I had him. And the whole time he was with his friends playing behind the puppet stage that was set up for VBS!!! I have to say, I thought that was pretty good for a family of four to only lose or forget a child one time…. and he was 6 at the time! Hopefully yours will outgrow that wandering….
We have a monkey backpack with a leash that you are welcome to use. (And a Minnie one if one of your little girls needs “help” staying close, too!) I’ve heard of writing your cell # on the child’s arm with a marker, but I think I’d prefer the option of an ID tag necklace or bracelet with your last name and cell #. Can’t wash/rub off and can’t be easily removed by a young child. 🙂 Congrats on getting to go to Disney!! We’d love to go someday, too, but it won’t be any time soon. 🙁
I was the child who slipped away! I wasn’t trying to, I would just get interested in something and when I’d look up my family was gone. Happened at every amusement park we ever went to!
My brother and sister-in-law had that problem with their second child – he was a bolter. And if they tried to carry him or hold hands, he’d scream bloody murder. So they did the monkey backpack with the tail leash. Gave him the freedom he wanted but with a clear boundary. It didn’t take long for him to learn to stay by his parents and they could stop using it.
I have temporary tattoos that have my phone number on them, that way if my youngest gets away someone can call my cell phone when they find him.
My 4th boy gets lost all the time. Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun, Walmart. Everywhere.
At big places like amusement parks we write our cell number on his arm. I always thought the leashes were crazy till I had Eli. Then I understood that sometime they might be needed. 🙂 I haven’t used them but if you have to then you have to.
I had a couple kids (out of our 6) that would disappear at grocery stores—we would find them, and then kinda “follow” them to see what they were going to do….when they started getting worried, then we would “show up” and have a talk about how important it is to hold onto us. The trick was letting them get worried—after that, they have been good about hanging onto mom’s shirt or the cart or stroller handles. We also have a “buddy” system that helps.
My sister has used the monkey leash on her 2 boys with good experience. We’re waiting to go to Disney World until #6 is 4 or 5 years old. However, we do go to lots of museums and the zoo often. They get into the habit of “hanging on” to the stroller, and my hubby and I spend most of our time looking at them rather than the sites 😉
I think I’ve lost almost all my kids for short periods of time. When my 5 year old was 3 I went to the school to pick up my then 5 and 7 year olds. They didnt really want to leave so I was having a hard time pulling them away and dealing with the baby too. Finally we got away, the two youngest in the double stroller and the two oldest walking on each side of the stroller. About 7 minutes later a van pulls up beside us “Did you forget one of your kids at the school?”. I can’t explain the sheer terror (and humiliation) that went through me! We ran the whole way back and the crossing guard yelled at us for running across the street. She was happily playing. To make matters worse, I forgot her again a month later when I went into the school to talk to a teacher. She’s just too quiet and sneaky.,Not surprisingly, they skipped over me for mother of the year 2010
At big events with a lot of people I write my name and number on their wrists ( not their names!) in black marker. Sometimes they wear the same color shirts.
My nephew (2yrs old) is a little runner, and my goodness can he get some speed up when he sees something of interest. I’ve always found it best to put a little leash on him in very busy situations. In quiet situations he is more willing to hold hands and I do always try to encourage this first. However I always keep the leash on me, just in case he decides to push his limits. I also think it’s safer and less stressful knowing I’m prepared for any situation or tantrum.
I would have and have started to yell my childs name….within a minute of not finding him. I have had this happen and feeling panic rise inside is one of the worst feelings. My kids are older now…I will never forget the time my son was about 2 and a half and he get outside of the drugstore within less than 2 minutes of me turning around. Still makes me feel sick inside.
How terrifying! I can imagine your husband’s panic – I’ve lost sight of my kids for maybe 10 seconds and my heart drops. I’d be crying after a minute. I’m so glad you found him and he’s okay and you’re both okay. (((hugs)))
We’ve had a few short scares, but it’s always been for the good of teaching the child to stay with us. We’ve all been scared. The more kids I have the more I see how one of those kid leashes could be quite handy, especially when going to a zoo, amusement park, or somewhere where there might be a crowd. I’ve thought about getting one, but haven’t yet. I used to think that they were just for parents who couldn’t control their kids, but I’ve come around from that idea. I’ve always taught my children to hold onto the stroller/shopping cart or my hand. My two year old sometimes balks at this right now, but when I tell her she has to hold the stroller or my hand she usually chooses one and sticks with it. If she doesn’t choose it ends up being my hand with a tight grip that she’s not fond of, so she will quickly decide to do what she is supposed to do.
It happens. Kids get lost. Our son was lost at a father/son baseball outing when he was three years old. It happened at a Yankees game at the end of the game. Patrick had climbed over the seat and was bent down eating popcorn off of the ground. Oh yuck! My husband was a basket case. I was so upset when I heard about it hours afterward.
The ideas above sound good. I wouldn’t write a child’s name where a stranger could read it. Someone could use that to deceive the child that they know each other.
Have a wonderful time at Disney.
My daughter was a wanderer. We did try the leash but she absolutely refused to wear it and would lay prostrate on the floor screaming if I attached it. I just had to be constantly on her. I had no other kids to deal with though. I only really lost her once and that was before the leash. One day when she was a toddler we were at the park with a friend. Daughter was wearing a red fleece jacket and had been playing by the water fountain. I could see her sleeve bobbing out from behind the fountain in a group of kids so I figured all was good and I stood chatting with my girlfriend a few feet away. Several minutes later the sleeve steps out from behind the fountain and is attached to a little blonde boy! I flipped – I had no idea how long she had been gone at this point! It urned out she had wandered off towards the field behind the playground and was halfway cross it and then when she saw me coming she booked it, so there I am half crazed, tearing after her, huffing and puffing as she runs towards the edge of the park / street. I caught her finally, thank goodness and gave her quite the scold for running like that and I never took it for granted she was where I thought she was again – haha!
I would seriously look into getting one of those child alarm systems. You keep one side and you tie the other side to the child’s shoe. It sets off an alarm if the child wanders more than a certain number of feet from you. You can also push the button to check on them if you lose sight of them fora second. The alarms transmit a beep on the child’s portion and you can hear where they are. There are many of these systems out there. Check them out and see if it is right for your family.
Thank heavens I haven’t had this experience. He seems to be quite independent.
How scary!
My middle guy is my runner. He’s like magic and can disappear in a split second.
We went to Disney when he was 3 and we put a backpack “leash” on him. With how crowded Disney is and how big… it was the way I could feel the safest. And in every single line we were in, we saw at least one other family doing the same thing.