When someone else is treating you to a meal, whether it’s a date or a friend of the family, I was taught to ask for suggestions on the menu. Inquire as to what the host is planning on ordering, and then choose something on the menu in the same price range. Likewise with drinks, if your host orders water, order water. Unless they specifically say, “I’m ordering water, but feel free to order a Coke if you’d like one,” then it would be fine to order a drink.
All of my raising went out the window one day though when the richest family we knew invited us out to eat after church. This was before Jason and I had any children. They invited us to a fast food restaurant and had us order first. Without thinking much about it, my husband and I each ordered a meal deal including a sandwich, fries, and a drink. They ordered after we did. When the food came, I was shocked to see that for their entire family including 6 kids, they had ordered only sandwiches and fries to share with just water to drink. I was very embarrassed.
I think this family probably meant for us to order the way we did, and they didn’t act in any way like we had done something wrong. But I think I ordered the way I did because of my assumption that they had a lot of money. If anyone else had invited me, I would have made my usual inquiries to find out what would be appropriate to order. This was a great lesson for me! Maybe this family was wealthy in part because they had been frugal and wise with what God had blessed them with!
On the other end of the spectrum if you are inviting someone out to eat I think it is best to choose a place you can afford to let your friend select something from the menu. Don’t be like the date that didn’t let me order anything! Ha ha!
Well, what you ordered wasn’t all that expensive at a fast food restaurant. But, yes, a lesson we should all remember. I also think people shouldn’t say you can order anything you want and then complain if it was too expensive.
I do the same as you usually. I remember once our boss at work offered to take the staff out on her own bill. Everyone ordered two pizzas to share, except one girl who ordered her own steak dinner… yikes.
I am like that too. Partially because even if I am hungry, after two bites I am done and then would feel badly because I was taking it home. So then I would start eating everything and then throwing up before I could get home (or leave the establishment). Even as an older version of that younger adult and young child (if friend parents too me somewhere) nothing has changed except I eat less than I did back then. I tend to accept the invite when I can, but offer up, “I am not real hungry and since you know I don’t eat much I think I may order off the children’s menu!” Most of the people I would go out w/ know I carry a card from the ADA explaining my medical condition and wouldn’t care but this makes me feel better. I always, from the time I was little ordered the least expensive thing on the menu and water to drink; even with my family. I don’t know where that came from, it was definitely not learned from my family. LOL! I wonder how many people are truly like that Esther or see it as a chance to order something they wouldn’t normally eat out or at home. Neither is right or wrong; just different and now I am wondering.
I love this. A lot of people don’t know how to order when something tasked them out for a meal. I normally will just set expectation before we leave. I also set a budget of what I am willing to spend. I will normally tell the person, I would like to take you out and the menu is your oyster to chose from or I will stay let’s go out for burger and fries. So the person know what my budget is and and no one feels awkward.
Cynthia
Esther, I love reading your stuff. Miss you!
I always wait to see what the other person is ordering, too, but I don’t think anybody taught me that. I love your stories, Esther!