Tori Banks from The Home Front is back today and sharing some more humor with us.
My mom and I seem to have to worst luck with vehicles. One day, she pulled up to the drive-thru window at the bank. As she came to a stop, she reached down to move her seat forward.
But when the car halted, the seat slid forward too far and she was jammed up against the steering wheel. She reached for the lever to move the seat back, but it was out of reach. She was stuck!
I imagine the bank teller gave her a pretty strange look as they conducted their business!
Another time, she decided to wash her car, which had deep bucket seats. She pulled up to the machine and lowered her window to choose the cycle she wanted. When the light turned green, she pulled forward to position the car, and the nozzles began to spray.
The only problem was she couldn’t get the window rolled back up all the way! And she couldn’t leave because the sprayers were already circling the car. Water began to spray in through the window gap, and she hopped up onto the center console to stay dry.
A puddle of water gathered in the driver’s seat with every pass of the jets. When the wash was over, she gathered her nerve and plopped into the soapy fluid to drive home.
I wonder what Grandpa had to say about that! I bet he probably wasn’t as angry as my mom was, when I damaged my grandparents’ car.
I loved to ride and play in my grandparents’ old Oldsmobile when I was young. It seemed so huge to a little girl! There was an emergency light meant to plug into the cigarette lighter. It was small enough to fit in the glove box, with a cord that retracted into the case.
I thought it was a fantastic toy. One day, I plugged it in to play with, but forgot to unplug it when I was finished! It was extremely hot, and I left the light face down against the seat. Pretty soon, smoke began to billow out of the windows.
I set the car seat on fire!
The strangest part of the story is that my grandparents weren’t going to tell my mother what I had done. I guess you could say that I had them wrapped around my little finger! Later that night, my mom was looking over my preschool papers, which had been on the seat at the time of the inferno. She called my grandparents to find out why the papers were charred around the edges.
And I thought I’d gotten away without being punished!
Now for the absolute greatest story my family tells. This one belongs to my mom.
Late one summer, she was mowing her huge backyard on a riding mower. Rather than rake up all the fallen leaves, she decided to just mulch them up as she cut the grass.
Everything seemed fine, until she began to sense a lot of heat around her feet. She looked down, and the mower was on fire! She jumped off and ran for the hose, which was all the way across the yard.
After extinguishing the flames, she checked under the mower deck and discovered leaves packed in around the blade. The friction had caused the fire.
The great finale to the story is the way she told my dad what had happened. She waited until they had gone out to dinner, figuring that he wouldn’t yell too loudly if she told him while they were in public!
I seem to have inherited my mom’s penchant for mechanical mayhem. Maybe that’s why I don’t ever get asked to pitch in on the mowing!
Wonderful stories! That’s why I stay away from such things as lawn mowers and my husbnd never wants me to do anything like run one.
Thanks, Tori, for filling in while Esther is away having a baby! She’s so smart to have you post for her this week. Thanks for both posts yesterday and today. Esther, I subscribed to your RSS feed so I can see all the wonderful Laugh With Us stories.
These are great stories – I feel a bit better knowing I’m not the only mechanical klutz out there.
I mean, how many people do you know who ALWAYS turn the key in the door the wrong way when trying to lock or unlock it?
Fawn – It’s been so much fun getting to share my crazy stories! I’m grateful to Esther for featuring me. I hope her deliver went well; she’s been in my thoughts often the last couple days!
Rachel – I do that with the key ALL the time! I also set off the car alarm from the button on the remote, or drop the keys altogether when I’m trying to to use them. I swear – in some things, I’m just a menace! Glad you enjoyed the stories!
Tori, I’ve been wondering all day and had to come back and ask–how did your mom drive home squished against the steering wheel at the bank?
Rachel, I turn everything the wrong way. If a faucet won’t turn on or a jar lid is stuck, I get all mixed up which way is on or off. My granddaughter told me to remember rightie-tightie, lefty-loosy. That helps.
Esther is home from the hospital as of a few minutes ago, and the kids are admiring the baby–all except Little Jason who wants nothing to do with him.
Frieda – I had to email my mom to find out! Whenever the story is told, everyone is laughing so hard by the end that no one ever asks how she got free! She said she was eventually able to worm her hand down and grab the lever to release the seat, but it was extrememly difficult. 🙂 I’m just glad my van’s seats are motorized instead of sliding!
Glad Esther and the fam are home and relaxing…as much as you can with a newborn! Congratulations!