Annoying, thoughtless, irritating, amusing…it probably depends on my mood how I take the things people say, but the truth is no matter where I go with my five children in tow I get these comments, and if you have multiple children you probably get them too.
1. “You’ve got your hands full!” I keep saying I’m going to come up with something clever to respond to that, but so far I just smile and nod. Maybe next time I’ll say, “You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!” and see what happens.
2. Don’t you hate it when people take one look at you and ask, “Are you tired?” Just tell me I look awful and be done with it! One lady walked directly to me at the store and said, “Get some sleep,” and walked away.
3. One day I got whammied twice. First a woman came up and said, “I love to see kids that look like they dressed themselves!” The funny thing was that I had actually picked out all their clothes. Simple Ts with holey jeans just work just fine for me! Then when we were checking out a lady came over and said, “You’re doing a great job Mommy!” with a very pained “you can do it” expression. Ha!
4. Well at least those people were honest! On the flip side there are the ones that comment with things like, “Oh. Wow. Five kids. You must be super mom.” Uh huh. Yeah, that’s me alright. I’m just super-de-duper. Insert very fake smile here.
5. “Are they all yours?” If I just had a dollar for each time I heard that one right? Read this story that happened at Walmart! 🙂
6. Then there’s the ol’ “Do they all have the same father?” I know in this day and age more times than not a blended family is the reason for so many children, but it always strikes me as such a hilarious question to ask someone. Yes, my man and I had them all together, no other fathers or mothers involved. Ha ha.
What’s your “favorite” comment you hear over and over when out and about with multiple children?
Theresa Suttles says
We had all five of ours lined up for a photo at Disneyworld, and some guy walked by, laughed his big, loud, obnoxious laugh, and goes, “Hey, you guys know what causes that? It’s not the forties!” People can be so rude 🙂 You just have to laugh at them.
When people say that to me because of our 5 children…I embarrass them back. I say…”Well….just look at my husband. He’s sooooo hot!” They turn bright red and walk away.
I had so many doozies floating through my brain but couldn’t come up with just one to comment with… And so I’ll give you two that you can use one all the well-meaning people out there: “When I say nothing I don’t necessarily mean nothing,” or, “If I go out of my mind I’ll try to do it as quietly as possible so as not to disturb you.” Chin up there super-mommy. [img]http://www.pic4ever.com/images/bliss.gif[/img]
Clearly the smiley I tried posting didn’t work… Now I see why I tend not to use the stupid things…
Wow! People are amazing thinking they’re entitled to saying anything they want. I would actually tell them that was rude and that they don’t look so hot themselves.
When people say “You have your hands full!” just shoot them a desperate look and reply, “I know — Can you help me out?” That ought to send them running in the opposite direction!!!
People used to say “You know what causes that, right?” to my parents all the time with their four young kids. I told my mom if anyone ever says that to me, I’m going to keep a totally straight face and respond “No! We can’t figure it out! Could YOU explain it to me?” and see what they say. 🙂
Elizabeth Grimes says
I get the “You look tired” ALL the time! Know what you mean. Best to smile, nod, then forget. Lol.
Elizabeth Grimes says
Oh! Had to share the other one I get all the time. It’ll help me get the frustration off my chest.
“What? No kids yet? You need to get with it!”
So many responses I would LIKE to say. Lol.
Sarah B says
I am nearing 8 months pregnant and help run a preschool for my occupation, and since about month 2 have been told, “You look so tired,” and my other favorite, “Did the kids wear you out today?” To make things worse, this is my first pregnancy and none of the commenting preschool parents noticed I was pregnant until 7 months, so they basically thought I was just struggling to do my job. I had lots of fun meetings with the director regarding their comments. You would hope nobody would intentionally throw a pregnant woman under the bus like that! I always give kudos to parents of many small children like you Esther who are doing a great job raising their kids to love and obey and who take their time to make sure they receive the best education possible. Being a homeschooling mama to 4 kids while taking care of a baby is no easy feat. Someone should make you a super mom shirt for Mother’s Day!
dr momi says
I’m with Sarah … a super Mom shirt for Mother’s Day. May all the “talking before you are thinking” comments bounce right off of you!
Oh I am loving your comments this morning! I laughed out loud several times. I called these comments annoying, but you know I find them humorous don’t you? You have to know they crack me up! They don’t actually irritate me unless I’m having a really bad day! lol
I find it odd when people make comments about us having a big family….there are only 4 kids!!! But, we get comments primarily for having identicals…..yes, they just happen to look like each other…..I saw a t-shirt for moms that said “She who must be obeyed.” I would wear that ALL the time….
When people tell me that I have my hands full, I reply with “you should see my heart.” When people say the comment about knowing how this happens, my friend that has eight kids wants to reply that yes, they do and they will stop having them once they get an ugly one.
Yes!! Love your response to hands full. I say “but my heart is fuller!”
Susan Evans says
If someone saw me right now, they would say, “Get some sleep,” to me, too! As least you’re able to take these comments in stride.
We say, “Yes, my hands are full, but you should see my heart!” And, “If we ever figure out what’s causing it…” while shaking our puzzled heads. And for the “are you done yet” comments, we say, “Nope, we’re half way through the first batch.”
Lisa @ Two Bears Farm says
If I had $1 for every time I heard “You’ve got your hands full”, I could go out to eat for a month. Or more 😉
Sometimes you just wish people would keep quiet. They (usually) mean well though.
I always received the comment ‘boy you have your hands full!’. In response I would always say yes I do and it is a ‘good FULL!!’. My kids are now older; 8, 13, 16 and a special needs son who is 18 going on a 3-4 year old age level. My kids were always well behaved and didn’t touch anything in the stores when they were not suppose to. I think this just shocked people with well behaved children and people don’t know how to react. Sometimes I think they are jealous and just want it to look like we have too many kids! It comes in handy mow that they are older, taller and stronger than me and can help me now with all those groceries! So take it as a compliment that you are handling your children just fine and most people are jealous! Imagine if we add at that point, oh yes and we home school too! That is where I believe my children have gotten their firm foundation and discipline, from home, as God intended for us to train up our children!! At least we won’t have regrets because we invested all our time on our kids in the place of a paycheck! The sacrifice will pay off, I am already seeing the awesome results. God bless you and your family and always be ready with an answer for those people who think we have too many children!!!
Ginny Marie says
Great post, Esther! People mean well, but they do say annoying things!
I love this post! I could make a 100 book series on what people say to me. Many of them come from so-called friends. I honestly think a lot of these come from people who don’t wanna see the moats in their eyes. It’s easier to see everyone else’s.
Anri-Louise Oosthuizen says
But Ester you ARE so wonderful. 😉 I can’t think of anything to say. I want to encourage you but cannot find the right words. Uhum… just keep doing what you are doing.
(Got to read your blog again, for the first time in a while, and am of course laughing and nodding my head all at the same time. Fun.)
yep…when pregnant with my 8th people told me how easily I could get fixed! Nothing was broken!
shari lynne @ Faith Filled Food For Moms and Grandmothers says
Oh Brother!! People can be so..well..RUDE 🙁
Elizabeth Carr says
Yep that’s so a been there and done that moment. My mom has even been there and done that with 5 kids. Ug, people are so weird sometimes.
I have 4 kids. I get the “You got quite a handful” quite a lot. I just say, “Yes but its a good handful”.
Lets see, I got a “serious” look at Whole Foods this week when my kids were playing in the designated play area and having fun. Not overly rambunctious, just normal kid stuff.
And one lady stopped me and said “you are at the story by yourself with all these kids? Who is helping you?” I said nobody and then pointed at the sky and said except for HIm of course.
I don’t feel like five kids is all that many. Maybe it is because I am one of five, or because of all the huge families at church that make five look medium. Also a good response to the old “Don’t you know what causes that?” question is “no, what causes it?”
I would like to gripe with you and say how foolish and rude these people are, but I would probably be hypocritical doing so. I’ve been known to open my mouth and say something that I didn’t think was rude. Then I can tell from the look on the other person’s face that it did not come out like I meant it.
Usually, when people say something stupid, I just try to remember that they probably have no idea what they really said. It may bug me for a moment, but they have to live with their stupidity. I’m getting off easy.
I have five kids, too. Now that they’re 13-21 people don’t seem to freak out about it as much as they used to. Enjoy your family and don’t worry about what others think. They don’t matter anyway.
Stopping by from SITS.
I try to laugh it off, I don’t let them bother me tho. I usually respond to them, but how I do it depends on if they meant well or were being nasty. I used to be underweight (no worries, childbirth fixed that) and was not able to gain weight. I used to eat more then many other people and not gain weight, so I often looked like I was anorexic. It used to annoy me when people would tell me I needed to eat.
One lady had this snooty look on her face and said “You need to eat, you are making yourself sick.” Being she was a bit nasty about it, I turned to her and said “Yeah I am hungry, it took a lot pulling off that shoplifting adventure!” Now I have never stole anything in my life, but I can joke around with people and not get embarrassed. She looked at me with a crossed eyed look and went to grab her telephone. I then said “can’t you tell? I hid the stereo and TV up my shirt?” Looking more confused, I told her that no I did not steal anything and that she was being quite rude.
If she were to ask me if I was ok or something without being nasty, we would have been all good. But she was a bit nasty so I decided to mess with her. She did apologize and laughed a little. It was funny in the long run. I had heard enough of the eat, eat, eat tho lol 🙂
I get annoyed when they say that I must have my hands full in that nasty tone like kids are scum of the earth when my kids can hear them (and generally aren’t even misbehaving!). Usually I actually have at least one hand free – either the youngest in the cart or sling or one of the older ones is holding the younger one… I just hold up whatever free hand I have and say “Not yet!”
The “all they all yours” thing cracks me up too. I just say “Nope, I run a look-alike daycare”
I too use the “We’ll stop when we get an ugly one” comment… not that my kids are ugly (even when they dress themselves, lol!) but rare is the person who would say “Well that one is!” and point or something.
I also have said “Which one would you like me to put back?” when they say something about knowing when to stop or generally having too many. I did have some British woman at the toddler time gym tell me I was “bloody knockered” to have so many kids (5). But she did it in such a chipper way with her accent that I could only laugh at her. 🙂 If she had been American I probably would have gotten snippy with her.
bloody knackered means suuuuuuper-freakin’ tired
so you know
I have for kids of my own. I’ve been told all those and more. When asked if 4 is enough, I respond with a straight face, “No, I want 12.” It usually leaves them speechless long enough for me to laugh and walk away.
Ha ha! I love it!
When I get people telling me ‘you’ve got your hands full,’ I’ve started to say ‘full of blessings!’ because that’s what my 4 boys are. Blessings!