Our boarding high school was associated with a retirement center for elderly missionaries. When the opportunity became available to adopt a grandparent I happily volunteered. I’ve always loved people of all ages. It sounded like fun.
Oh man. From the time I met the couple it was obvious. The man loved me. The woman did not. He would come up to me happily every time he saw me and kiss my cheek. His wife would roll her eyes. I was, quite frankly, uncomfortable with both of their treatment of me, but what could I do?
Then came the day I was invited to breakfast. In spite of the awkwardness, I was excited to get off campus and partake of some “real food” as we so often ascribed anything edible that was not made on campus.
Besides me another elderly couple had been invited to this very proper breakfast gathering. I sat up straight, tried to participate in the conversation, and most of all tried not to embarrass myself. The lady had made the most delicious pancakes. They were huge and full of fruit and nuts. Now you have to understand that at that point in my life I might have weighed a whopping 93 pounds, if I was fully clothed and soaking wet. I remember immensely enjoying about half the pancake at which point I was completely full. I knew I had to finish it though, so slowly, bite by bite, I stuffed myself. I was so proud when I came to the last bite and choked it down! I thanked the lady and told her how delicious her pancakes were.
“I’m so glad you liked them,” she said as she got up from the table. Before I knew what was happening, she had plopped another huge pancake on my plate.
“Oh no, I’m sorry I’m full!” I looked at the pancake in horror knowing I couldn’t possibly eat another bite. She mumbled something that I don’t remember. There I sat with a smile plastered on my face not daring to even look at that fat pancake again, and there I left it.
When the meal was finally over, I was smacked with a kiss from the man and a glare from the wife. And that was the end of our adopted grandparent relationship!
awww….that is so sad!
Well, you can’t say you didn’t try your best. It’s not your fault that some people are bitter and resentful.
Have you ever watched a Brit-Com called “The Vicar of Dibley” on public television? There’s one episode where the Vicar gets invited to several Christmas feasts, all within a few hours’ time, at the parishioners’ various homes, and can’t say “no” to any of them for fear of being impolite. The ensuing hilarity is fun to watch!
By the way, your senior portrait is gorgeous!
@Melanie, No I haven’t seen that, but it does sound funny. I should look for that at the library. Thank you for the compliment on my senior picture. My kids looked at it this morning and said it doesn’t look a thing like me! lol
Okay, so I am a cranky old lady, but in my book you didn’t try very hard. Your post is about poor you. I understand old folk aren’t perfect. See how cranky I feel right now; however, we of every generation need to push harder to understand, to value what can be valued, and forgive what bothers us. So I am practicing forgiveness and I hope you are practicing kindness and generosity.
Of course Esther practices kindness and generosity. She voluntarily adopted the old couple, and I’m sure her intentions were 100% honorable.
The old man didn’t try at all to alleviate his wife’s jealousy.
The old lady didn’t try to give Esther the benefit of the doubt – that she was an innocent youngster who wasn’t wise in the ways of the world. The old lady rolled her eyes on their first meeting. She seemed to think that a 93 lb. girl could, and should, eat two fat pancakes on their last meeting.
So, who wasn’t trying?
And, who was the one who was REALLY going around saying “Poor me”? Hint: It wasn’t Esther.
(I guess I’m guilty of being a cranky old person, myself. So, Esther, feel free to erase this comment if you wish. I’ll understand.)
@Katherine, This post was not intended to be a “poor me” item at all. I clearly remember that meal of trying to eat that pancake and all these years later find it quite hilarious. You sound like a champion of the underdog! I’m sorry you were offended by my story.
@Libra the Scales, I know that as much as I write there will be times people will misunderstand or take something wrong or disagree. It is just part of what comes with putting my thoughts out there, but thank you so much for coming to my defense. 🙂
This is why I hate and love letters or writing. The inflection of a person’s voice is lost in the starkness of written letters.
Your post made me laugh, Esther, because I LOVE old people….they have been my friends and mentors ’til their passing and it is hard to see them go. On the other hand my husband enjoys young people and their half-brained ideas. So I can see myself as the old lady rolling my eyes while my husband gives you a kiss on the cheek. It would be totally awkward and I would be relieved when you left, ha ha!!!! I would be relieved because I find teenagers/young adults stressful to be around (especially the outgoing type) only because I could not stand to be around them when I was a teenager myself.
This is definitely not a pity party post! I can hear your energetic inflections in your voice as you retell the experience. I love to hear your kind of personality tell stories, but prefer being around your personality IN PERSON in small doses, not because I don’t like you, but because it is overwhelming to my introverted personality 😉
@Sarah, Thank you so much for your sweet comment. I’m probably quite a bit more introverted in person though than you might imagine from my writing! 😉
I thought it was funny. The poor lady was probably jealous because you probably were not the only young thing her husband liked to kiss. She was probably just ready to be offended. I know it probably nearly killed you to get a big pancake down. You used to hate buffets because it discouraged you to see all that food. With a small plate full you had a manageable goal. I enjoyed reading everyone’s comments.
I can vouch that the Vicar of Dibley is hilarious. I’ve been watching it for years! I used to always call it the Wicker of Vicker because I could never remember the name. In fact, I’ve only recently been able to consistently get it right. But check it out!
It sounds like the lady might have had other things that may have been bothering her that she didn’t really want to give you a chance in the beginning. Maybe the husband liked the idea of adopting grandparents and she didn’t so now she felt kind of stuck in the program! Or maybe the husband is a bit of a flirt and she gets annoyed by it, hard to say lol 🙂
Very cool that you participated tho, seniors can be so much fun to be around. I used to drive many seniors around on the bus and we would have so much fun joking and talking. They used to bring me all sorts of baked goodies too and oh they were delicious!
Too funny. As for that one comment, how hard were you supposed to try? I think the man had a thing for you or just wanted to make his wife jealous. I think this would have been very awkward for me. At least you got through it. I would have left a lot earlier.