Bringing home a new baby is hard. It has been for me all five times. When there were complications it was of course more difficult, but even with a healthy delivery and baby, it’s just hard.
I think being sick when I delivered slowed my recovery way down. I was still taking pain meds into my fourth week home from the hospital!
Bobby has not gained weight like he should so I have had to nurse every two hours all day and every three hours all night also giving him formula after feedings. He has finally at one month regained his birth weight. His feeding schedule alone is exhausting.
I have not wanted to go any where, see any one, or talk to any one. The only thing that has sounded like fun, besides cuddling my baby, is to curl up on the couch with a snack and a good movie. I’ve been moody and weepy and generally no fun all together. I think this is what people call Baby Blues?
Still, I have a family counting on me so I have pushed myself do what I possibly could to make the holidays special, and keep the house hold running, but I don’t want to give the impression that it is or has been easy. I have posted smiling pictures of our festivities, but that is only one side of the story. If I turned the camera you would probably see the pile of dishes on the counters, the dirty floors, and laundry covering my couch. The picture before our meal might be of all the kids quarantined to their rooms for fighting. So forgive me if I’ve made things look easy. It’s hard ya’ll, but worth it–so very worth it!
In some ways that is reassuring that its not always easy …even when you have 5 kids. I’m going to have my second pretty soon and I’m a little nervous. Thanks for being jonest
Honest I meant to say.
dr momi says
I hear your sleep deprivation Esther. Drink, drink, drink (water)as I always tell the nursing moms around here :-)Special prayer going up for you today.
The sleep deprivation alone would mess with anyone’s mood. But you’re still a great mommy, and you’ll get through this phase just like you have the other four times. 🙂 I believe in you!
Yeah, bringing baby home is never all that fun after the first one. But it does get better. It sounds to me like you need to make yourself take a break. Leave the laundry and other unessential stuff: I have a friend who when her kids were little just kept all the clean laundry in baskets and the kids got it out from there.
It didn’t look too messy, and took a lot of stress off of her.
Can you get a teenager to come in and watch the kids (or take them out of the house- wouldn’t that be nice!) while you sleep? If they could do that a couple times a week you might start to feel human again.
And last but not least, I had a problem with one of my kids and nursing: I was surprised because I’ve nursed all of my kids exclusively, no bottles, and figured I should have been an expert.
Turns out he wasn’t latching on properly, and so wasn’t getting enough milk and wasn’t making enough milk. Once we fixed that he did really well. You could get a lactation consultant to come to your house, or go to one; the prices are usually pretty reasonable.
Hang in there- you’ll get through some how! Been there too :).
tell your obgyn about your feelings… you’ve done this 5 times, now. if you know it feels different, speak up. just b/c you are a veteran at this doesnt mean you arent suseptible to PPD. Oh, no mom WANTS to admit to PPD, nor ever thinks its “that bad”… take it from me, I went thru severe PPD the first time around, and didnt want to admit it (thought it made me a failure or something).Talking about how you feel will improve things, to say the least. dont wait on it, and dont think its not necessary. we cant help the things our post-partum bodies do chemically.
I dont mean to make it a “big deal” but I also dont want to see you go thru even a touch of the difficulty PPD can bring! please speak to your OB about it, and soon. Its not like they will judge you. They are preggy dr’s… they have seen/heard it all by now.
of course any newborn period is stressful and tiring. its compounded for you with 4 other kiddos to tend to. i am certain Jason is doing all he can to help you in this time, he seems that type of stand-up guy. Just please take my words to heart, Esther. Make that call. prayers and blessings you and yours today. 🙂
Susan Evans says
I’m praying for you. I remember how hard those days were. I had one baby that needed supplemental feedings, too, and I was so sore from feeding every two hours that I was bleeding. (I guess the baby had iron in his milk…LOL)
Honestly, I don’t think you were portraying your family as all peaches and roses. You were just sharing the memories, as that’s really what we remember when all is said and done. And you have shared areas where you are struggling, so the smart ones already knew you needed the extra prayer. Hoping things will start to look up for you soon. Life with a new baby is always a hard adjustment.
Take care of yourself Esther…and remember you have family and FRIENDS 😉
Praying for you this morning. Wishing I could stop by and fold clothes, wash dishes and fix dinner…. I only had 2 children but both times I wondered if I would survive those first weeks/months.
Denise Mulligan says
One, two, three, five, seven it’s never easy with an infant. Kids are always hard and so much fun… what a catch 22. You’re exhausted, but you have so much love for them it’s overwhelming. Laundry, diapers is all par for the course. I remember people always telling me just enjoy them while their young. I kinda hated hearing that because I was enjoying. I was just so tired all the time. Laughter will always get you through and a babysitter just so that you can take a nap!
Making Our Life Matter says
I really can’t imagine having a newborn at this stage in my life anymore. I am so glad that you are enjoying yourself. He is a cutie!
I can’t imagine what you’re experiencing and the sleep deprivation must be tough. But I’m so happy to know this time will soon pass and you’ll be back to your jovial self.
It IS so hard…every time! The lack of sleep is deadly for me…I just struggle to be nice until I get five hours of sleep in a row. Interrupted sleep doesn’t help you feel human, no matter how many naps you get.
Keep going…the worst of the sleeplessness will be over soon!
Mrinda LaFerney says
Oh Esther, I am right there with you. I was sharing these exact sentiments with a lady at church a while ago and she asked if I needed her to hold the baby. I told her (fighting back tears) that this was what I love doing, but wasn’t getting to do, so I think I will pass. Audrey is three months now, and I think everything is getting a little better. Except finding time for grocery shopping. That is impossible to do with everyone (especially an infant). Got any tips?