People keep asking me how I have adjusted to five children. Honestly? Not as well as I thought I would! I always heard people say that three is the most difficult adjustment and adding children after that is no big deal. This was not so for me. I had a difficult recovery after Grace, my third, was born, which added to the difficulty. I also began homeschooling for the first time when she was only three months old so that certainly added a new dimension. Three was tough, but at that point I would still put all the girls in the van and go everywhere I always did. Three kids didn’t really slow me down.
Having my fourth baby really changed my life style. Little Jason was an easy baby after the first few weeks. Taking all four of them places by myself, however, became more work than it was worth. I had always loved bargain shopping, but it lost it’s joy with four kids in tow. I can’t remember going to the mall since Little Jason was born, certainly not just to window shop.
So before having our Bobby I knew the first few weeks would be tough, but then I really expected to fall back into my same routine. Where as having four changed my out of the house habits, having my fifth has changed my habits at home. I just can not keep up with all the things around here that I was doing before Bobby was born. I don’t have the energy for one, but the balance of how things worked before our fifth baby, with the homeschooling, cleaning, cooking, blogging, and fun with the kids, just has not worked since, and I haven’t found a new balance that I’m happy with.
All that to say that I am still adjusting and working on trying different ways of managing areas of our lives until we find a good routine again. We will eventually figure it out; I am convinced. Then something in our lives will change again!
We are linked with Women Living Well, Works for Me Wednesday, Gratituesday and Titus 2sdays.
Prayers for you that you find the “new balance” that works well for you! You’re right – each new blessing brings changes, and you’re right, too, that it’s NOT easy! Give each day to the Lord, and move through it in His strength. As much as possible, allow yourself time to ENJOY your five blessings. The young years certainly are demanding, but sooner than you think, your little ones will be taking drivers ed. and studying for the SAT! God bless you and provide you with all you need to joyfully nurture your precious children.
It’s kind of comforting to hear a more experienced mom talk about the adjustment. I just had baby #2 and it’s been much harder than I thought it would be. I’m lucky if at the end of the day I haven’t added to the pig sty that is my house at the moment! It gets very discouraging sometimes. But reading about your experiences, I feel a bit more normal and encouraged that I’ll get it figured out, too. 🙂 So thanks for that today, Esther.
I’ve always heard that stress is simply the difference between where you are and where you think you should be. The bigger that gap, the more stress. So, juggling everything with 5 kids, you simply have to have the “where you think you should be” come down and go easy on yourself. So the house is messy or things are perfect. Drop those expectations and you will have less stress! Come to a new realistic goal of what works and what is a priority and you will have less to stress about. Focus on the important things like spending time with your family and the other stuff is just extra. Have a nice weekend!
I meant “aren’t perfect!” whoops!
Esther, I hope and pray that you find your balance in your daily life. It has to be so hard with five little ones. What are their ages?
I’m still adjusting to four myself. Although it’s better now that #4 is 3 months and her sleep and awake times are more routine, I wouldn’t EVER dream of going anywhere with all four. Grocery shopping or any outings have to wait until my husband comes home so he can babysit.
I love my children, but after spending the entire day with them, I need a break! It’s always nice to hear that I’m not the only one who is trying to get through the transition with a new babe!
Hope you’re doing well!!
i was so scared having 2 little ones- but it didndt slow me down either. and now they are ages 2 and 3 and this little one is due sept- i scared to death BUT i am so thankful that my 2 now are so good- they are good at the stores and when we go places-plus my son can buckle himself in and my daugher is almost there- so i’m just thinking of all the cooking for differnt people and the baby will be- ugh
good luck to you
They won’t be little for long… and the older they get, the easier it (could) get to actually go out and about. you’ll figure it out. as i heard somewhere before, each child changes the dynamics of the family into “a whole new family”…but i am confident you’ll adjust. keep up the good work, because esther, you are doing GREAT, even when you may not feel like it!! 🙂
Gwen T says
Ha, ha – and I was one of the people who just asked you this!! 🙂 Adding #3 was one of the biggest adjustments but our #8 has been pretty big too since she is a bit persnickety. However, each one is such a blessing and through each one God keeps working on our character, right?
Btw, you seem to be handling 5 beautifully!
ME TOO! *Hugs and prayers* sent to you from me!!!
Congratulations on baby 5, I am sure that it is an awesome experience. I only have one child and my life has change dramatically from the days of window shopping and just going where and when, I don’t understand completely everything that you are juggle but I wanted to tell you that my prayers and happy thoughts are with you as you find your new schedule and fall into a routine. Thank you for sharing the article.
Four was hard enough, and I didn’t do much homeschooling. I have seen you up close managing better than I think I ever could have.
Thanks for sharing this! Life with 2 has been an adjustment, I can’t imagine 5. I would never get anything done. I am sure you are doing fabulous, even when you don’t feel like you are! 🙂
I had a rough time adjusting to 5 kiddos even though my oldest is 18. I have home schooled for years but it felt like all my experience went out the window. I’m an author… and couldn’t write. My husband is unemployed and in the military and I am busy concerning myself with his well being too. Everything seemed sooo hard! I’m just finally feeling like I’m starting to get the hang of things and just found out today that we’re expecting. lol 🙂 I won’t lie. I’m thrilled, and yet a wee bit scared too. Sometimes it all feels so overwhelming. I just keep reminding myself that God knew we would be scared which is why He tells us not to be so many times in the Bible. He also knew that we would feel overwhelmed. We’re blessed to be Christians! God’s Word has carried me through so much! My last labor was weird! I mean… really weird… For 3 days the machine wouldn’t pick up my contractions weird. I claimed 2 Bible verses and held on to them for dear life! They were my salvation! xoxo mama!! You’re not alone.
Hang in there! It takes some time, but eventually you will feel like 5 is the new normal. It took us awhile before getting out and about didn’t feel like a major chore. Now my youngest are 5 and it’s definitely not as stressful as it once was when they were all very small(thank God!).
Charity Hawkins says
Thank you for being honest. It’s so refreshing. Loved this post!
Lauren Holmes says
I have two, and I sometimes wonder what it would be like to add a third. I’ve also thought about homeschooling too. It was nice to see your honesty about your struggles – I pray that things get a big easier for you. I also love shopping at thrift stores too! 🙂 Lauren, lholmes79.wordpress.com
We’re about to transition from 2 to 3 kiddos in a few weeks. I can say I’m a little apprehensive, but I know God will see me through it. Keep your head up!!
Amy Basinger says
I found your blog via WLWW. I enjoyed ‘hearing’ your struggle because it is so real. Honesty is golden. It will encourage others.
We must think alike because my blog is Beautiful Texas Bluebonnets like yours. I had to wait almost a year to update my pics so my newest baby was matching the other kids’ bluebonnets pics! 😉
I know you, and in time, you will have that schedule up and running. Five children is a lot to take care of, but your love for your children shines through your blogs.