A Bug in my Shirt

I was at the library one morning about a year ago with my entourage, perusing the children’s movie titles. My baby was getting heavy, and he kept tickling my back with his hand. “Get that hand out of there, baby.” For the fifth time I grabbed his little arm. But I distinctly felt the tickle again, though I was holding his arm. If I hadn’t known better, I’d have sworn there was a bug in my shirt! I shook my shirt around the best that I could, thinking my pony tail was probably hanging down in the back of it. Ah, much better. We moved on to the big people movie titles (goodbye Blockbuster, hello library) where I was trying to keep all four kids out of the stacks.

Suddenly, I knew that there was definitely a bug having a heyday in my shirt. It’s probably a good thing that a goliath-like man was standing only one foot from me because everything in me was screaming, “This shirt has got to come off!” Instead of going with my instinct, I stood there shaking violently and slapping, grabbing, squishing, pulling at my shirt while somehow keeping a firm hold on my baby, and carefully avoiding eye contact with the man. Finally, I realized that with my fist I was grasping some skin, a big wad of shirt, and a very real, very big bug. Frantically I searched in vain for a bathroom, keeping my fist firm around the intruder. Not seeing a bathroom sign, I took off for the front desk yelling, “Come on kids.” I ran right up to the counter, not caring that I was interrupting someone being helped, and said, “Bathroom?” quite a bit too loud. The lady behind the counter looked up startled but pointed in the right direction.

I took off running, then realized that my wonderful children were not behind me. I ran back. “Come on, come on, RUN.” My poor girls must have been wondering who I was and what in the world I had done with their mother. I finally made it to the bathroom where I handed off the baby to my eldest daughter and tried to calmly rid myself of my unwanted cargo. I twisted and leaned into the mirror as far as I could over the sink so that I would have a good view. Then gingerly opened my fist, took one look inside and went into complete hysterics that didn’t end until I saw hit the floor the biggest, ugliest, brown beetle sort of bug. Whew! As we walked out of the bathroom, one of my girls proclaimed, “I’m gonna tell my friends!”

24 comments to A Bug in my Shirt

  • TOO funny! I would have joined you in a total freak out if I found a beetle next to my skin!

  • Hahha….oh too funny. But it must have been horrifying at the time:)))
    I think you handled the situation with grace;)

    Came through your blog from Texwisgirl….what wonderful “make me smile” posts:)))

    Have a wonderful day!
    (I have 4 kids too…but 3 boys and 1 girl. And yep- I homeschool:))

  • You actually handled that pretty well I think. I would be hysterical!

  • Haha….thats hilarious. Ah, I am shivering just thinking about it!

  • Jessa {aHolidayHaven}

    Seriously funny! What a fun blog you have!!!

  • I had this happen to me, but I was in a recording studio with my husband and it was real quiet while the engineer talked to us. All of a sudden, I felt something move in my pants, yes, in my pants! Then I smelled something, yikes! A stink bug, common here in the woods of NY state, but their official name is “stink bug”. He was in the leg of my pants above my ankle and I reached down and held onto him so he could move and I just kind of kept talking but acting like I was scratching an itch. As soon as I could, I made it to the ladies room. How embarrassing! I’ll never forget it.

  • I meant to say could NOT move! He could not move any further up my leg or I would have screamed I think.

  • Totally hilarious! I HATE BUGS! I would have definitely screamed the moment I felt it.

  • OMGoodness! I am not sure I would have made it to the bathroom or if I did I would have clearly left my kids behind. I am mortified of bugs!!!!

  • Desiray

    I would of had a fit I don’t like no kind of bugs…and to be on me oh that would of been a not so nice view to see. When I see a bug especially when I am outside and they come flying over my head on land on me I scream and ask my hubby to get it..he laughs at me bcz he thinks it’s cute that a grown woman screams when she sees a bug smaller then an ant..

  • Katlupe, That’s horrible! I can’t believe you sat there and waited. I am familiar with stink bugs. My brother swears he swallowed one on a horse ride once! :)

    Desiray, I scream just like that! It makes it hard to tell the kids to ignore the bugs. lol

    Thank you so much for reading and laughing with me!

  • OH no a bug and me not a good comnbination. I would have left my child to as I would have had to get it off me. My son is only 2 1/2 and Loves Bugs and likes to bring them to me as he knows I will scream and yell till hubby comes and takes him away with the bug unless hubby decides to be a stinker which he does sometimes and he sends them inside with a bug to give to me as he thinks its so funny to hear me scream.

  • EWWWWWWW…I hate those type of bugs…my body just got the shivers…LOL. You handled that pretty well…I’m not sure how my story would have ended if it happened to me.

  • Laurie

    Bugs …. I don’t like bugs. I probably would have started screaming.

  • Oh my goodness, I was itchy and wiggly throughout your whole post. I’m so glad it turned out ok and you didn’t have to bare yourself in public!

  • I would have been screaming in the library for sure! Gives me the creeps to think about it!

  • I loved your daughter’s comment at the end, “I gonna tell my friends.” That’s priceless!

    If I had a bug down my shirt that’s big as a Cadillac, then I’d have the baby in the floor, if my kiddos were that small again, and fluffing my shirt open every which way to exercise that demon from my clothes. I hate bugs! Then, I’d squish it beneath my very angry foot.

    That’s just me, though. I think you handled the situation remarkable well and in good form.

  • Tina

    Oh Esther,

    It sounds like you did the Beetle Juice dance. Did the Librarians go SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH? although you obviously went SHMOOOOOOOSH!

    I hate bugs myself! They always seem to Love me!

    Love in Christ
    Tina

  • Nathan

    Well Sis, I remember such adventures in the horse pasture. Every once in a while, dad would stand too long in an area with fire ants. It was hard, the first time, not to roll on the floor laughing when ants started up his leg. There was no hesitation, pants went down and hands started slapping at the red offenders. Honestly, it happened to me a couple of times and yep, all modesty asside, it was white legs, red ants and lots of slapping. I also remember one of my friends visiting, same pasture, a garden snake started up his let. He grasped frantically with both hands around his knee to keep the small snake from advancing further. I was too busy laughing to help! I do remember that we finally got the snake out though for the life of me can’t remember how it happened. Oh, and yes, I did swallow that stink bug. It was too far down to be worth tasting again, I just closed my mouth and eyes, gritted my teath and took a big gulp. I don’t ride at a full gallup with my mouth open anymore though!

  • Honestly, Esther, if it would have been me I would have already let out that scream right in front of Mr. Goliath! I’m sure my story ended totally different! LOL Cookie and bugs don’t go well with each other, you see… hahaha… but I’m glad you handled that graciously! Eeeeeeeeew! For the last time!

  • Too funny! I’ve definitely had similar incidents happen to me with my 3 kids in tow as well!

  • That’s hilarious.

    I once had a bug in my shirt while sitting in a tiny church in Mozambique. The locals already thought I was a bit strange after one of my teaching sessions, and so, when I jumped up and ran outside, dragging one of the South Africans who had travelled there with us along with me, no-one blinked. All the while I was being stung – on the back, under my arm … Anyway, to cut a long story short, I whipped my shirt off outside, we found the offending bug, got it out, and I was able to return to teaching the church members about more godly things!

    Oh, and I HAVE swallowed a stink bug – while out running many years ago. To this day I remember the sickening taste / smell.

  • *falls over laughing* I think I’ll tell my friends too :).

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